How Many Times Have You Been Cheated On In A Relationship? Or Have You?

I am woman!! And I'm not young, so I have had relationships.  Only one time had I even thought that a man was unfaithful, and that was because someone told a friend of mine, who then told me.  I decided to trust this man and although I married someone else, he still remains a very close, dear friend.  Had I ever thought anyone was cheating on me, the doorknob would have hit him in the ass on the way out.  I believe that people react in the manner you expect them to act.  If you don't trust them, they become untrustworthy.  If you expect the best of them, that is what you will get.  I cannot imagine living life as bitter as Leona seems to be.  She claims to be "a very pleasant person," yet her writings come across as being extremely nasty, very rude, and almost bordering on the brink of insanity.  I do believe that she needs some professional help getting over whatever is bothering her in order that she might move on.   Life is beautiful, but it is only what you make of it.  I am now a widow, and not currently in a single relationship, but have many men (and women) friends, so cheating is no longer an issue.  In fact, it never was!  JK thanks for posting.  It'll be great to see what the normal people have to say about this situation.

I am a 30 year old female. I have been cheated on in the past.. I've noticed the problem was more with the type of guys I was dating than with just men in general. The guys I was dating at the time were very immature & had a lot of growing up to do. The man I'm with now (been together for 3 years) would never cheat on me. He has too much respect for me & himself to ever do that. There are men who don't cheat. Even before I met him I knew this. Women who think all men cheat just haven't found the right man. They are probably going after the same type of guy time after time which is why they continue to get cheated on.

I'm am also a women in my 50's ,and been happily married for 35+ years.I have never cheated sexually on my husband,But many times I have left mentally.All marriages has it's ups and downs.I get an excape in the computer.My husband ,lover  and spouce has been loyal to me all these years.Sometimes I wonder why!Children and grandchildren can be a binding force in a marriage.I am a very lucky women.I wish all women have a happy and romantic relationship as I have achieved.

Thank You American Patriot

I am a 44 year old heterosexual male. I have only been in a few serious relationships, but they lasted for several years. All the other women that I was with were just flings and they all knew it, as I believe in being up front with my intensions. I’m currently enjoying my second marriage and consider myself to be a good judge of character. My first marriage failed due to incompatibility and outside interference not cheating. As far as I know I have never been cheated on and I have always “chosen” not to cheat on my partners. When it comes to trust, I believe in trusting where trusting is due. If I loose trust in someone it only affects my dealings with that person, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to be stupid and think that all are worth trusting. I sleep with one eye open as they say and I am not surprised by anyone’s actions as we are all capable of unspeakable acts. It is quite obvious to me that the author of the words that JKG has posted for us has been exposed to and or inundated with bad experiences involving men and it’s a shame. My heart goes out to her and the women that she cares so much for, but this is only on side of the male experience. I know that there are a lot of bad seeds out there, but to condemn all of man kind is wrong. These jack a##es out there that are treating their women wrong are doing so because they choose to do so. When I was growing up, I hung out with a steady group of about 10 guys. 5 are now married with children. 1 we later found out was gay. 1 is deceased. 1 is serving a life sentence for murder and I have no idea where the rest are. I’ll close with this, “To condemn the whole for the actions of the few is an act of social terrorism.”

I am in my 40's.  I have been cheated on a few times by boyfriends when I was younger.  I have also had to use food stamps, been on disability, lost people I love to serious diseases,  . . . . . . . etc.  Bad things happen.  People hurt us, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes intentionally.  You can, if you so choose, drown yourself in negative thinking.  If you look for unpleasantness, you will always find it.  But, I have found that whatever the issue, be it infidelity, poor health, financial troubles, the pain of loss . . . . . . . if you keep looking for the good, and stop whining about the bad, good will find you.  We create a field of energy around us.  You can walk down the street and see soemone smile at you and feel the goodness.  It makes you smile in return.  You can also see the angry, sad, whiny faces and they make you feel less happy.  Nobody said that life was going to be easy.  If it was easy, there would be no point.  You learn from every experience you have ~ how to bounce back from adversity, how to handle yourself differently the next time around, and who not to date!!!  Positive energy attracts positive energy, and the converse it true as well.

Sorry about the existential ramblings, but Leona's negativity is like slime.  It coats you and makes you feel disgusting.

I have been married to the same woman for 50 years and have never even thought of cheating on her.  ALL men do not cheat, just a lot of them. Every man that cheats is doing it with someone......hmmm, a woman?

Jkgrandma,  I hope Leona sees Mr.Jqna's and Lido's answers.  Two wonderful comments from two wonderful men.  Lido made a good point at the end of his comment.  A man cheats with a woman.  I was cheated on once many years ago by my first big love.  He never made it to first husband.  The man I married has never cheated on me.  He comes right home after work every day.  He does not drink, not one drop, so he does not go out to the bars.  We are together on the weekends.  We go shopping together.  So I don't need to do what Leona said in one of her threads.  I don't need to hire a private investigator to follow my husband around.

Message to Leona:  If you and your lady friends are not happy with your men, then why do you stay with them?  Why don't you leave and find good men to be with?  There are plenty of good men to go around.  You have to go where the good guys go.  Go to a museum, to a play, to a musical stage show.  Go to the opera or ballet.  Even go to Disney on Ice.  Go anywhere, EXCEPT where the bads guys go.  Mom once said you will never meet a good man in a bar.  Mom was always right.

Anna Sparky's Mom