How Many Times Have You Been Cheated On In A Relationship? Or Have You?

jkgrandma,  I have seen some of the things you post in your question yesterday by a commenter named Leona.  I left her what I consider to be a thoughtful, very helpful comment.  Of course, she is not taking my advice either.  Leona wants no advice.  Leona only wants to run her mouth all over Yedda.  For the commenters that did not see my yesterdays response to Leona, I am copying it here for their perusal:

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Leona,  I have read your different posts, and I have done a very thorough case study on you.  Here are my professional conclusions.

1)  Your boyfriend/spouse cheats on you because he can.  You are an enabler.  You allow him to do this.  He cheats and you keep on taking him back.  Why?  Is his penis made out of gold?  Is he one hell of a stick man?  Or do you just like being treated like a big turd? 

2) Your boyfriend/spouse cheats on you because he finds other womens boxes more appealing than yours.  Do you bathe?  Do you trim?  Do you shave your legs?.  Shave your moustache?

3)  You are showing several schizophrenic qualities that will be greatly helped by the use of antipsychotic medications.  You don't trust anyone.  You are suspicious of other people.  You say things that are not real.  For instance, you say 95.9% of men cheat.  How did you come up with that figure?  Statistics show that 55% of men cheat, and 40% of women cheat.  So you show delusional tendencies when you say 95.9% of men cheat. Perhaps 95.9% of the skanks you hang with cheat, but not in the general male population.

In conclusion, I would like to remind you that Skanks of a feather, they all stink together.  If you had an ounce of brain, you would leave the skank part of town that you love to hang in now, and move on to a better part of town, with a better class of people.  You must love living with the skanks and the low lifes, since you won't leave, and you put up with whatever chit comes your way.  Take my profesional advice.  See a psychiatrist asap!  Get on some good antipsychotics, and find a real good psychotherapist, who can help you realize why you insist on having sex with skanks, and then complain about it afterwards.

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Leona claims she goes to a ladies group on Monday.  It is more of a ladies bull session.  They bum rap their men and then cry on each other's shoulders.  Leona states that "society keeps letting these pieces of sewage get away with very poor behavior".  I would like to know what Leona thinks "society" should do about the skanks she and her ladies group love to hang with.  Listen up, Leona:  SOCIETY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE WAY YOUR BOYFRIENDS ACT! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT SOCIETY TO DO?  COME INTO YOUR BEDROOM,  PULL THE SKANK OFF OF YOU, AND COURT HIM OFF TO JAIL?  Leona has very psychotic tendencies.  She talks nonsense.  My advice to the the psychotic Leona and her groupies who are so miserable, is to LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!  It never ceases to amaze me how these low class women will sleep with skanks, the dredge of the earth, then go around crying about it when they are cheated on and treated very badly.  Why don't they learn a lesson from the wonderful and very popular Gloria Gaynor?  "Go on now go, walk out the door, don't hang around now, cause you're not welcome anymore!"  I WILL SURVIVE!  Well, I for one am sick of Leona's crybaby antic.  Leona also needs to realize that a cheating man does not an open marriage make.  You got that, Leona?  A CHEATING MAN DOES NOT AN OPEN MARRIAGE MAKE!  An open marriage is when the couple BOTH agree to see other people.  Leona, you did not agree, so you have no open anything, except for one open big crying mouth.  Why don't you just leave the skank, Leona?  Why not give us all some good reasons why you don't leave?  I will tell you why.  BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT!  YOU LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF BEING STEPPED ON, CHEATED ON, AND TREATED LIKE SCUM.  If you didn't like it, you would have left a long long time ago.  Leona, it is now time for you to quit crying like a banshee about cheating rotten men.  Do something about it.  LEAVE ALREADY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.  If you think you deserve better, then go for it.  If you stay with the skank, then you deserve everything you get.  I still stick by my previous advice.  Get on some good antipsychotics and find a very good psychotherapist to find out why you love living under a skanks foot.  Good luck and I hope you wake up.

Dr. Phyllis, PC

I am woman!! And I'm not young, so I have had relationships.  Only one time had I even thought that a man was unfaithful, and that was because someone told a friend of mine, who then told me.  I decided to trust this man and although I married someone else, he still remains a very close, dear friend.  Had I ever thought anyone was cheating on me, the doorknob would have hit him in the ass on the way out.  I believe that people react in the manner you expect them to act.  If you don't trust them, they become untrustworthy.  If you expect the best of them, that is what you will get.  I cannot imagine living life as bitter as Leona seems to be.  She claims to be "a very pleasant person," yet her writings come across as being extremely nasty, very rude, and almost bordering on the brink of insanity.  I do believe that she needs some professional help getting over whatever is bothering her in order that she might move on.   Life is beautiful, but it is only what you make of it.  I am now a widow, and not currently in a single relationship, but have many men (and women) friends, so cheating is no longer an issue.  In fact, it never was!  JK thanks for posting.  It'll be great to see what the normal people have to say about this situation.

I am a 30 year old female. I have been cheated on in the past.. I've noticed the problem was more with the type of guys I was dating than with just men in general. The guys I was dating at the time were very immature & had a lot of growing up to do. The man I'm with now (been together for 3 years) would never cheat on me. He has too much respect for me & himself to ever do that. There are men who don't cheat. Even before I met him I knew this. Women who think all men cheat just haven't found the right man. They are probably going after the same type of guy time after time which is why they continue to get cheated on.

I'm am also a women in my 50's ,and been happily married for 35+ years.I have never cheated sexually on my husband,But many times I have left mentally.All marriages has it's ups and downs.I get an excape in the computer.My husband ,lover  and spouce has been loyal to me all these years.Sometimes I wonder why!Children and grandchildren can be a binding force in a marriage.I am a very lucky women.I wish all women have a happy and romantic relationship as I have achieved.

Thank You American Patriot

I am a 44 year old heterosexual male. I have only been in a few serious relationships, but they lasted for several years. All the other women that I was with were just flings and they all knew it, as I believe in being up front with my intensions. I’m currently enjoying my second marriage and consider myself to be a good judge of character. My first marriage failed due to incompatibility and outside interference not cheating. As far as I know I have never been cheated on and I have always “chosen” not to cheat on my partners. When it comes to trust, I believe in trusting where trusting is due. If I loose trust in someone it only affects my dealings with that person, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to be stupid and think that all are worth trusting. I sleep with one eye open as they say and I am not surprised by anyone’s actions as we are all capable of unspeakable acts. It is quite obvious to me that the author of the words that JKG has posted for us has been exposed to and or inundated with bad experiences involving men and it’s a shame. My heart goes out to her and the women that she cares so much for, but this is only on side of the male experience. I know that there are a lot of bad seeds out there, but to condemn all of man kind is wrong. These jack a##es out there that are treating their women wrong are doing so because they choose to do so. When I was growing up, I hung out with a steady group of about 10 guys. 5 are now married with children. 1 we later found out was gay. 1 is deceased. 1 is serving a life sentence for murder and I have no idea where the rest are. I’ll close with this, “To condemn the whole for the actions of the few is an act of social terrorism.”

I am in my 40's.  I have been cheated on a few times by boyfriends when I was younger.  I have also had to use food stamps, been on disability, lost people I love to serious diseases,  . . . . . . . etc.  Bad things happen.  People hurt us, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes intentionally.  You can, if you so choose, drown yourself in negative thinking.  If you look for unpleasantness, you will always find it.  But, I have found that whatever the issue, be it infidelity, poor health, financial troubles, the pain of loss . . . . . . . if you keep looking for the good, and stop whining about the bad, good will find you.  We create a field of energy around us.  You can walk down the street and see soemone smile at you and feel the goodness.  It makes you smile in return.  You can also see the angry, sad, whiny faces and they make you feel less happy.  Nobody said that life was going to be easy.  If it was easy, there would be no point.  You learn from every experience you have ~ how to bounce back from adversity, how to handle yourself differently the next time around, and who not to date!!!  Positive energy attracts positive energy, and the converse it true as well.

Sorry about the existential ramblings, but Leona's negativity is like slime.  It coats you and makes you feel disgusting.

I have been married to the same woman for 50 years and have never even thought of cheating on her.  ALL men do not cheat, just a lot of them. Every man that cheats is doing it with someone......hmmm, a woman?