Teen & school

It's great that you are so involved.

And what does your son think of all this.  Some kids are generally not interested in achievements in school, some do not feel that it is interesting/challenging, some kids feel embarressed or intimidated by family members, some feel they can never measure up, and some do not like to be involved in group activities, etc.  It might be an issue with peers as well.

Find out what your son is truly interested in, and play to those strengths.  He's 13, he knows the basics (reading, writing, math).  You as a parent probably know where his skills and interests lies with.  Play to those with a nod that school interests need to be average at minimum to achieve what he really wants.

Best of luck 

JtotheA gave some great advice. I would also like to direct you to a few websites that may also give you some great guidance.

This first one offers a range of tips as exampled below.

How can I get my teen to focus on their homework?

1. Designate an area where they can study without distractions like TV or phone calls.
2. Help them organize their assignments and encourage them to do the tougher ones first.
3. Set goals and allow study breaks.

Get your teen more involved in school by

1. Being supportive of your teen's school activities and studies.
2. Being available to attend school functions.
3. Encouraging them to get involved in new academic or extracurricular activities at school.

Is your teen too focused on their social lives to care about school? Try these tips to redirect their attention.

1. Help your teen deal with issue like peer pressure, drugs, and alcohol.
2. Put limits on the amount of time your teen can socialize during the school week.
3. Reward good grades with extra activities like sports games, movies, or parties with friends.

It also offers many good ideas and can be viewed here:

http://www.byparents-forparents.com/tips-motivating-teenagers-in-school.html

This next site also had some great ideas:

Studies show that successful students have parents who create and maintain family routines. Make sure your child goes to school every day. Establish a regular time for homework each afternoon or evening, set aside a quiet, well lit place, and encourage children to study. Routines generally include time performing chores, eating meals together, and going to bed at an established time.

http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content/betterschool.html

• Visit your child's classroom; a visit will give you an idea of what your child does at school and how he or she interacts with other children.
• Volunteer to help in the classroom as an assistant (listening to children read, for example, or serving as an aide during computer work).
• Support student events and performances by helping with them (such as sewing costumes or painting scenery for a school play) and by attending them.
• If your school has a Parents' Room/Lounge or Parent Center, drop in to meet other parents and teachers there, or to pick up information and materials.
• Participate in workshops that are offered, such as those on child development or concerns that parents have (or help plan such workshops).
• Take advantage of parent-teacher contracts (perhaps agreeing to read with your child for a certain amount of time each night).
• Ask your child's teacher if he or she has materials that you can use to help your child at home and to supplement homework.
• Be part of decision-making committees about school issues and problems, such as a Parent Advisory Committee.

http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content2/how.involved.html

You may also want to visit these sites that discuss how to improve study skills.

http://www.how-to-study.com/

http://www.ucc.vt.edu/stdyhlp.html

http://www.coping.org/adultlink/study.htm

This one has 10 steps to improve study skills that I really like.

http://academic.cuesta.edu/acasupp/as/701.htm

This one is a little more advanced but I feel that there is some very useful information.

http://www.mtsu.edu/~studskl/mem.html

You have taken the first steps to help your son and it is outstanding to see a parent take an active roll in helping them through school.

You may also want to talk to one of the school counselors about this situation. At his age I was the same way, but turned things around rather quickly when I started volunteering to help out in the principles office after school for 1 hour each day. The extra mentoring she provided make a big difference in my attitude towards school and learning.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your son. 

My first response would be that maybe he's feeling pressured because of his siblings being honor roll students.  you mentioned that here, do you also mention it to him on a regular basis?  If so then he's feeling pressured, even if you are not, he is still feeling pressured by knowing how well they do.  Assure him that it's ok to be average or above average~that you will still love him no matter what.  My sister pays her children for good grades and her children came from a home too terrible to even discuss.  I don't know how you feel about that, but money is always an incentive to achieve.  We all do harder work when we are expecting more money right?  All I know about her pay scale is that ALL the grades have to be c and above~she doesn't pay per letter.  Say 5 A's and a D= no money.  You can fingure it out~after all, he's your little man.  <hearts>