A wife of over 40 years would cope similar to a wife of 10, 20 or 30 years. Do you want to stay with this man and try to work things out? Is he wanting out of the marriage? Do you want out of the marriage? Have you discussed this with your husband? Have you both considered marriage counseling?
Do not consult your children for answers to these questions. They should not be put in the middle. Many cities have shelters for women that are in abusive relationships. Your church may offer some support. As far as discussing it with friends, make sure "your" friends are not "his" friends, otherwise you will be putting them in the middle and it could backfire causing further damage to you.
Divorce attorneys can answer questions about divorce costs, alimony and/or support in the event of irreconcilable differences or a complete breakdown of the marriage. Alimony is sometimes granted if one spouse has a much higher income than the other. A few years of alimony will give you time to financially adjust for living on your own again.
Get checked for STD's as soon as possible. If your husband has been out having unprotected sex, there is no telling what he may have passed on to you, so seeing a physician right away is important!
Blessings,
~ nmpb ~
