Stuck between Love & Hate

UCLA Girl,

Wow! Take it from someone who has experienced the same. People are who they are and though they change in some ways, their core does not. If he is lying about little things, he will definately lie about the big IMPORTANT things. Cut your losses and learn from the experience. He's not the one for you, he is just an experience that you had to have so that you would know what you deserve. Life is funny that way! You need to ask yourself what flaws in your mate that you are willing to accept, everyone is flawed in some way but what are you willing to live with?

Good Luck!

I completely agree with Brenda.. people can change but only if they want to and even then a person can only change so much. If you are having these problems now and have only been together 3 years, it's not going to get better. Also, you have been together "off & on" that's another clue that the 2 of you aren't meant to be. Sometimes we want things to work so bad and think "if he was just like this..or like that he would be perfect" but in true love, you are supposed to accept the person for who they are.. not who you want them to be or what they have the potential to be. If he's not good enough the way he is right now, he will never be good enough. It hurts to leave someone you love but sometimes is the best thing to do.

UCLAgirl , I think it all depends on what the little lies are about and to whom and how big and what his legal issues are in his business .  Far as him spending more time with you and your family than he does with his , alot of guys seem to do this .  Family & friends saying you have more to offer than he does ,who cares , if you love this guy it shouldn't matter , it is what is in his heart that matters . You state you trust him , but feel he is keeping things from you , then you don't trust him and maybe you shouldn't .  Communication is the key in any relationship . Have you talked to him and shared your feelings with him , does he know ?  If so and he can't or won't meet you half way then you need to move on .  But remember you fall in love with someone because of who they are , if you love them , you take them as they are .  I personally do not like the Good enough that I am getting from your family and friends .  No one is perfect but that is for you to decide no one but you .  Good Luck .

Hi again ,UCLAgirl .  Him not being honest with you , not being attentive to you , and him being jealous and insecure is a different story than I got in your orginal question .  NO you do not put your life on hold .  He is not meeting your needs in the relationship  maybe he doesn't want to or maybe he doesn't know how to .  Again if he is not willing to meet you half way and try and improve on your relationship , then you are right to move on .   There's a man out there for you , who will love you , be attentive to you and will meet all your needs .  You will find him he is also looking for you .   I wish you the best .

UCLAgirl Hi again , Your X Boyfriend not meeting your emotional needs , is a different story than I got from your orginal question . Along with him being jealous and insecure . You are questioning his love , honesty and him not being attentive to you . Seems as if the two of you have a difference of opinion in the value of the relationship . You do not want the same things out of life or the relationship . You have decided to move on and with this additional information , I feel you have made the right decision . I wish you happiness .