Hey Jayr...Thank you very much for taking time out of your day to answer my post. However, I stated my recognition of how the "bar scene" wasn't the correct way....if you re-read my question, I asked the public is there any OTHER way! My question, as stated in my "title" was how/where do I start over? THAT is clearly my goal. I am not "GOAL DRIVEN" to avenge, my hurt upon him. I merely stated as a "footnote" that I find delight in how that other woman dumped him!! I could run back to him now and everything would be ok for a week: however, I am deeply insulted, as well as disgusted, so I can not. I cannot because those wounded feelings will cause resentment and doubts and may destroy our lives, ultimately. I was expressing delight in his misery because he is aware of what an ass he made out of himself...and got a "touch" of the devastation I went through. I feel delighted in that , also, because I do not have to explain how he made me feel..he now knows it since now he went through it for himself, now. There is truth in the old saying you have to "be cruel to be kind". If I make new friends, or start dating a fellow, it would be healthy for my self esteem and DEFINITELY send a message that I'm free to do as I please...JUST AS HE REQUESTED. It's not to manipulate, so to speak...it's doing as he REQUESTED 2 months ago...and also to demonstrate I am not a "sucker" or a doormat. Until I can look at him without my heart breaking...or look at him without CARING ABOUT WHAT HE DID...then I CAN'T look at him at all!! If Our Creator, and JESUS' help says we should reconcile..I believe we will. I need time. And in answer to your question..my goal is as I said a few times...where do I initiate dating again? BECAUSE THE BARS AREN'T DOING IT..I only meet dirtbags there. My goal is to start fresh...and if he is still there for me when I can respect him again...then I'm his. Expressing delight in his misery is not revenge(I didn't make the other woman leave), expressing my delight is not manipulative(I can't control his feelings) and getting a new "interest"(man) in my life isn't , as YOU put it, "making him suffer"..if he suffers, then he does. If he doesn't then we'll Both be happy. I'm casting my care upon the Lord..and also getting(or asking people HOW to) out there again. Are you saying I should drop my future just 'cause "baby dropped his bottle" and now wants "Mommy"(me) to come make it better? I love him and want him back..but I have to show him I respect myself and he's getting a loving WOMAN with substance & integrity..not a little wimpy needy girl. I want him to love me & be PROUD of me. Therefore..my goal (again) is to start over without him..maybe one day, Lord willing, we will be re-introduced to a better "us". Thank you again for your response..you didn't have to use your time..yet you did..For that I am GRATEFUL.
