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Mr.Jqna

Home improvement projects, "Get'er done."

She's 13 and she's pissing me off

My 13 year old niece is working my patience. Her mother asked me to coach her for high school interviews. When it’s time for us to get started she gets in this funky mood that just pisses me off. All she wants to do is play, watch TV, and eat (I know, like all teens). After I had enough, I told her that I agreed to help her because her mother asked me to. I said that I don’t mind because I care for her and want her to succeed. I told my niece that I don’t appreciate the attitude that I’m getting from her and in fact that I am kind of hurt by it. I told her, “From now on if you want me to help you, you will have to make an appointment. When the time comes for me to help you and you are in a funky mood or if you can’t give me your undivided attention, I will end our session and you’ll have to make another appointment.” I know that she needs a lot of help, but I’m not sure that she thinks she does. Am I wrong for taking this stance? Should I have handled it differently? What would Jesus do?


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"You're a fool whether you dance or not, so you may as well dance"

Chinese proverb

 

EJ Riddlesnots, and Shadow the Snotshepherd.

Official 1 1/2 members of S.N.O.T.S!  




 

I was technically a teenager about 5 months ago, and trust me, even if we think we don't need help, we do. It is quite easy to just be the kind uncle who dose magic and instantly dose whatever she wants, but it takes guts to take the unpopular stance and tell her what she needs to hear to get ahead. You're not her friend you're her uncle, you can be a friendly uncle of course, but to effectively help her she has to listen, and if you've offered your time to help her, then she shouldn't waste it by sitting around watching TV. I wish I was more strict with my niece.

Bravo!
Posted 2009-11-07T23:25:57Z
Helpful?(2)
Rated as Best Answer

 

All Answers

 
552 answers
36 helpful answers

"You're a fool whether you dance or not, so you may as well dance"

Chinese proverb

 

EJ Riddlesnots, and Shadow the Snotshepherd.

Official 1 1/2 members of S.N.O.T.S!  




 

I was technically a teenager about 5 months ago, and trust me, even if we think we don't need help, we do. It is quite easy to just be the kind uncle who dose magic and instantly dose whatever she wants, but it takes guts to take the unpopular stance and tell her what she needs to hear to get ahead. You're not her friend you're her uncle, you can be a friendly uncle of course, but to effectively help her she has to listen, and if you've offered your time to help her, then she shouldn't waste it by sitting around watching TV. I wish I was more strict with my niece.

Bravo!
Posted 2009-11-07T23:25:57Z
Helpful?(2)
Rated as Best Answer
 
6280 answers
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~ Snotternonsense  TurkeyEater ~

 

S.N.O.T.S., Inc.

Mr. Jqna ~

I guess, coming from a public school background, I do not understand the idea of interviewing for a high school, but if this truly happens, isn't it a bit early??  Isn't she a year away from applying to high schools?  I have found that you cannot rush maturity.  You can force responsibilty, and you can bully compliance, but you cannot rush maturity.  She may not be ready for this.  Her parents goals for her may not be the goals she has for herself.  That would cause resentment.  You are the person enforcing these unwanted goals.  I think that you should talk to your sister and ask her if this is the best time, and indeed if there has to be a time, for her to make choices like these.  It is one thing to apply to colleges, but high school??  If you have great grades and you participate in extracurricular activities, you can get into any college from any high school.  We had kids who went to Harvard and Yale and Princeton from a small, rural high school  But, in the end, you cannot make her do something she doesn't want to do.
Posted 2009-11-08T00:23:35Z
Helpful?(1)
Rated #2 out of 2

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