Sexual insecurity

Sometimes when a man learns of a woman's past "sexual" adventures --especially if it seems exotic to him, he feels the need to "compete" and goes WAY overboard on trying to please her.  Over doing it may turn her off.  Part of what she may have enjoyed in these past relationships is the spontaneity.  Often a woman doesn't like it when a man asks "how he's doing" either.  We women want men to just plain know.  If a man asks too often "how he did" it can take away from the closeness and intimacy.  Try to stay intuned with how she reacts to things as you do them --you should be able to tell by her reaction if they do or don't turn her on.  Try new things --but try things that you're interested in.  I find it particularily boring if a guy keeps bringing new things in just because he read them or saw them somewhere and some other woman liked them.  Maybe she'll like them or maybe she won't, but sometimes part of the excitement of sex is going for some "reasonable" selfishness.  Forget her past; relax and enjoy.

Why don't you sit with her and share what you have shared here.  If you cannot, then perhaps this relationship isn't for you.  There can be a relationship without sex, or even lousy sex, but there can be no relationship without communication.  You may get all sorts of input here, but you will not make this work on your own.  Your perspectives on her view of sex seems based on your observations, not on actual communication.

David, you said: every time I suggest we try something new/do something different or simply talk about sex, she reminds me how sex is irrelevant to her, how she doesn't care about it and doesn't want to talk about it. 

This speaks volumes!  Perhaps she has had so many lovers she's now "bored" with sex.  Is this the kind of partner you want to spend your life with?  She is 35 and you are only 26!  Women mature at a faster pace than men, so she's WAY MORE MATURE and worldly than you.  Maybe she enjoying being with a younger attractive man, which may be an "Ego Boost" to her; but maybe deep down she looks down on you and devalues you because of your age.  Ask yourself: Where is this relationship headed?  Are you interested in marrying her, or are you happy with just dating and having a monogamous relationship with this attractive sexy older woman?  It sounds like you two need to have a heart to heart talk.  My personal feeling is that "she's just not that into You!"  Good luck!