I think it's a matter of, "Which came first?  The chicken or the egg?  I'm sure the answer is different for everyone.  Also, I think each individual's romantic needs change as they grow older.  Younger people with more limited perspective might gravitate toward the physical/sexual as their dominant romantic need.  Older people with broader perspective might need more balance in all the areas of compatibility.  I can only speak for myself.  I'm 48 years old and just proposed to the woman with whom I've been in a committed relationship for almost two years and who is only a year younger than I am.  Also, we were friends for about a year before we became romantically involved.  Call me, "Old Fashioned," if you will.  But, I believe that compatibility---connection on many different levels---best friendship, mutual trust and respect and honest love for one another is what creates extraordinary sex.  And, by, "extraordinary sex," I don't mean the theatrics, gymnastics, scripts and technique that certain media exemplifies as ideal.  I mean what is going on emotionally and mentally between the two lovers.  When I hold my fiance in my arms, I know that I am holding my dearest treasure: an extraordinary human being for whom I have the greatest respect, the one with whom I can trust with all of my heart, the one whom I'm damned lucky to have found, the one whom I'm damned lucky desires to be in a relationship with me, too, my best friend whom I would never hurt or disappoint, the one who would never hurt or disappoint me, the one who understands everything about me, the one whom I understand everything about her, etc...etc...etc...  I adore everything about her.  After one year of friendship and two years of committed romantic relationship, I only keep falling more and more deeply in love with her.  As for our lovemaking that grows out of all this......:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)