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Sex, religion, help!!

My boyfriend loves me I know he does, we have been together a while now and he told me that he knows that I am the one that he wants to marry and that makes me feel good. The problem is that when we first got together we had sex every now and then when the mood was right and now he does not want to have sex at all. He says that he's just not that into sex and that he wants to wait til marriage like he has always wanted to do and because it's the right thing to do. We are both Christians so I can't argue, but I'm scared that there may be another reason behind it. I don't believe he would cheat on me because I know he loves me and he is the last person in the world who would ever hurt me, it's just I feel like it's me and when I say something about it he just says the same ,"It's not you, I just want to wait and I don't see the big deal, it's not even an important part of a relationship." should I be concerned or happy that he's like this, I'm so confused. It's not just me he said he tried it with his ex's and they wound up cheating on him (all of them actually).


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Hello, Wanting to wait until marriage is important since you both are Christains. I would ask him why he didn't wait until then? My husband was married twice and both cheated on him. I now have to live with his past, always being compaired to the the other two. There are trust issues and I believe he may have the same. Being together sexually is a bonding and no matter what he says it is important to a marrige and relationship. He is right, it isn't you. He has some unspoken issue and the two of you should consider seeing a counslor. Talking and working this out now is better than learning later you will not be able to deal with it.

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Neither of you are virgins, so it makes no sense that he would now want to wait until marriage to have sex. You can't get your virginity back..once it's gone, it's gone forever.Sex is a very important part of any relationship. Sex is one of the main reasons people have problems in their relationships/marriages. So of coarse it's important! If your gut is telling you there's something going on, you're probably right. I don't believe he now wants to wait until marriage b/c he feels it's the right thing to do & he's not into sex. He's a guy.. what guy isn't into sex?! There are other reasons behind this that he is not telling you. I think he has some issues b/c of things that have happened to him in the past. Until he can talk openly about these issues, they will never get resolved. He either needs to be honest with you or seek counseling.

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Thank you so much for understanding and I see it the way you do, why wait until the middle a relationship to decide something like this. But I'm hoping that I can talk it out with him but like I said he doesn't like to talk about it.

Posted 2009-03-14T02:32:40Z
 
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I know it doesn't make since, but you would have to know him, Himself in general does not make sense. I mean he lost his dad about four years ago and every girl he has ever been with has cheated on him so maybe its a trust issue but I would think you would be able to trust with sex before you started talking about marriage don't you? Thanks for the reply but it is hard to even get him to take medicine much less go to a counselor. I also feel horrible for even looking into it, I feel like I should be happy that he has made this decision but like you said, once you lose it u never get it back and with losing it also comes urges that right now are not getting satisfied and I'm a girl!!

Posted 2009-03-14T02:37:18Z
 
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"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

"Stupid is as stupid does."

"My name is Forrest, Forrest Gump."

I am 20 and still a PROUD virgin. I am waiting to have sex until marriage and trust me, I havent missed out on anything in life. I seem to have more fun than my "experienced" friends when we go out, because guys who know that about me seem to want me even more. I guess its just the thrill of the chase. Honey, wait.

 
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Obviously the Holy Spirit has convicted your boyfriend and he seems to have repented and ask God to forgive him, I think you should honor his decsion and maybe you  need to repent and ask God to forgive you and cleasnse you its one thing to say your  a christian its another to live as one.Many say there christians but do not make Jesis Lord of there lives most think once they ask God to come into ther lives thats it ., if that was the case Gods word The Holy Bible would only be a sixteenth of a inch thick.God honors obedience to his words not emotions. May God Bless you and your boyfriend.

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