Secrets in a relationship

Hi,
That's a delicated smart quetion.  Yes a true partner should not hide anything from his partner but he / she has to be (at the same time) smart and sensetive.... and use his / her  common sense..... and in certain cases not to tell the whole truth or hide some information.....  In a way it can dangerous (e.g: The partner will find it and get mad and suspecious).  So each case should be considered very carefully. 
Best regards,

no. they should not tell each other

I don't think that you need to tell each other everything necessarily. I do believe the highest level is complete openness but till you reach that point you can't force it. When two people feel they can share anything with each other I think it shows they have a very strong bond.

This depends on the personality of you and your partner and the kind of relation you have. There is no rule that it is always right to tell everything, but in general a relation is more fruitful the more you share knowledge about each other.

 Example of reasons for not sharing information:

1. You do not trust your partner, not to spread the information further.
2. There may be a time in the future when you split, and your partner may then use information about you in ways you do not want. There are cases where men have posted porn with their exes.
3. You may know that certain information will make your partner angry or confused or anxious. 

Keeping secrets is OK when:

• The secret will not damage the relationship
• The secret is known to you and you alone
• The secret will not damage your partner
• The secret does not violate the trust of your partner
• Keeping the secret will not eat away at you.

You can not keep secrets that others share. Others are not under your control.

If the secret has the power to destroy the relationship then you should consider which is more important. Some relationships are just not to be.

I believe that the most important aspect of a relationship - lover or friend - is trust. So, ask yourself, "Will keeping this secret strengthen the bond of trust or will sharing this secret strengthen the bond of trust?" Choose that which strengthens trust.

A secret which is very dangerous to you, them, or the relationship may be impossible to either keep or share with out loss. Losing a relationship through honesty is better than maintaining one through deception.

Always consider what is best for the other person. Place their needs, safety, feelings before your own

Such decisions are not to be taken lightly. Some, few, situations just do not have a win-win solution.