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Saving my relationship

AI have been in a relationship with a great woman for 8+ months. The first 4+ months were great, and then she lost her Grandmother, and shortly after that our relationship changed. She put her wall back up, which she had let down, and she was completely different. Less affectionate, etc..

We ended up taking a break for a couple weeks, and

she came to me and said she loved me, and wanted to try again. After a month of things being very inconsistent, my frustrations started to show. and due to a chemical imbalance with a thermogenic I was taking, along with my frustrations, I began to be short tempered, which I have never been in my life. I would never hurt her, but because she had been cheated on and mentally and physicall abused in the past, her wall got bigger, and she withdrew. I have stopped taking the supplement, I have taken responsibilities for my actions, but now I am trying to be patient while she see's the real person I am, and the person she fell in love with.

I know she is the one Iwant to marry and havemy children, i just want to make sure I do what is needed to get our relationship back to where it was. We both want this to work, she needs to see my actions change, and I need her to act like a girlfriend again.

Any help is appreciated.


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455 helpful answers

Because there are so many issues involved you and she should seriously consider therapy. There is certainly no shame and you have already taken the right step. Good luck and I hope all these issues resolve themselves for both of you.

 
4554 helpful answers

Love is the battery of life....

Hi,


Without knowing her I am sure she needs a very: special, tender, worm, carring, considerative, easy going, and above all love, love, love..... endless loving approach.  Your relation will stand good chances only if you are able to provide that approach.  She is probablly in deep grief (after her grandmother) plus her history (being physically abused) all in all requires from you high emotional intelligence (E.Q).  Don't be pushy, don't force her, let her go in her own rate, be patiect.  If you follow that line, with deep inner understanding, you have very good chances to drop the walls she built and get her.  Will you invite me to your wedding ?
Best regards,
 
163 helpful answers

A healthy relationship starts with trust and honesty and a big warm genuine smile.
 

It sounds like you're in a tough situation. I think if she's serious about working things out, she should seek out individual counseling (find a local counselor here) and you both may benefit from couples counseling. But most importantly, make sure to be supportive (not pushy or judgmental) of whatever she decides and continue to reiterate to her how much you love her. With the proper professional help, she (and you) will be able to overcome her past and begin building for a better future.

Good luck!

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