How Do You Save A Relationship You're Afraid Will Not Work Out?

Having a baby places a lot of strain on the relationship. If you have someone who will take the baby for you over night (can be a big ask when the baby is little) or for a while during the day, go somewhere neutral and preferably private for a big talk about everything. You can try simple approaches like each writing down what you are unhappy with and what you are happy with and swapping them. It isn't anyone's fault when these things happen and this is the most important thing to remember. Find a counsellor, mediator or neutral person if you find you get too emotinal with each other. Try to get some time with each other away from baby when you can talk about things and see if you can find what it was that was there in the first place, before bubs. It is possible to repair the relationship, I know from experience, but it will take work and commnuication on both your parts and a little support from friends and family. Also be prepared to admit it isn't working before you and your husband are feel too much animosity towards each other, it is much better for everyone in the long run.

Good Luck 

My advice for you is to wait. It is known to parents, but also in psychology literature, that the first year or so after the arrival of a baby is problematic (mildly put). Everyone in the family needs to find their new place, needs to learn their new roles and needs to adjust.

Many times, one or both parents feel they need to protect their boundries and make sure the new order doesn't change their lives too much.

Many times, each parent needs a different amount of time to adjust and get in touch with the new born baby.

Many times parents see differently the way the baby should be handled (should we let him cry sometimes, shouold we wake him up at certain times...)

Many times hormons talk (sorry - but it takes us time to recover from pregnancy and giving birth).

And many times everyone is just tired...

All of a sudden you need to agree on stuff you never dealt with before (baby nutrition, is it okay to "educate" a baby on his first year, do you take him out to certain places, do you leave him with other people and who should these other people be etc'), and you need to do that when you're exhausted, more busy than ever and fresh in this area. On top of that - all these decisions seem extremely important, as they involve your baby's well being.

 Put all that together - how can you not fight?

Therefore, my advice for you is to take your time, remember it happens to many (many many) others, and realise that routine day-to-day life will eventually return and each of you will find your place.

Hello Eve15! I beleive you are just doing the right thing right now: you are nice to each other and want to preserve your baby. Since this child was not expected it must have been like a big "earthquake" in both your lives. By being nice to each other and good with the babay without expecting anything more (for now!) you give time to your story with your man!

Women usually "want to do what is right for everyone" and most of them think they know better than anybody...well, I beleive that it is anxiety that makes us act like that...we don't need to do anything for the others...we just need to be ourselves and caring for the ones we love (which doesn't mean being or doing right...what is it anyway to be "right"?)

 You sound very sweet and smart. You will probably give your man a little time. (which is my advice, if I can..)What I have learned from my relationships and that is very important: men and women don't go on the same pace, time is not the same for us!!!

I wish you all the best for now and the future with your child...and hopefully with the man you will choose to be happy with!

If he doesnt respect you then it will never work, in a long lasting relationship, couples should consider each others needs, if he cant consider your needs, he is not thinking about you or your baby, would you really want to be unhappy. Think about it, if your unhappy then so is your baby.