Now that bikers (and wannabes) are gearing up for Sturgis, I beg of you to take a ferw tips from Dr. Gator (that's right, I have a Ph.D in nuclear physics and forty-plus safe years riding big iron).
1. It is a "hot" run: heat exhaustion and heat stroke are genuine probabilities. Bring along at least one quart of water for you and your lady.
2. Refer back to your first grade teacher telling you about the human digestive tract. SHe told you that digestive juices are very powerful and will dissolve meat. She probably didn't tell you that they didn't all react. That leaves lots of tripsin and HCl in your gut. Every time you fart, you bring some of that unreacted digestive enzyme in contact with the part of your body that is holding your whole body weight -- and will digest your skin, very painfully. That results in the adult version of diaper rash known as Biker Butt. The solution is to keep your backside clean and apply a liberal coating of petrolatum.
3. Carry a washcloth and a towel on top of your tour pak (Sturgis is not a run to take a jammer or chopper: take the bagger and ride to live). Why? To treat Biker Butt, BO, and assorted other maladies. Rinse the towel and washcloth clean, and let it dry on your tour pak as you ride.
4. Wear LONG SLEEVE tee-shirts -- hopefully black. That isn't for an image: black converts solar radiation to IR, and instantly the wind removes the heat, resulting in a much cooler ride. White tee-shirts let the sun's rays bounce around like a chandelier. You don't suffer the same degree of sunburn you'd get from riding bare chested, but that black cloth will spare you a trip to the ER to treat heat exhaustion and sunburn.
5. AVOID THE "TOUGH GUY" CONTEST! If you want to get beaten to a pulp, just go into the Mint Bar in Hardin, and yell, "Which one of you wimps rode that Harley?" Now, if you're obviously tough enough to get away with that, they might buy you a drink. Wimpodites, of course, do so only as a suicide attempt. Kevorkian is less painful if you ride rice . . ..
You know other things to do on the road. Share them here, but keep that "Bucket Brigade" noise to yourself: this room is for BIKERS!
