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Revitalising a friendship

I had a very good friend in my last workplace. She shared an office with me and  we really enjoyed each other's company. About a year ago I left that workplace and we remained good friends, until a few months later we had a big fight (our first fight ever). Our friendship never got back to what it was after that fight, althgout I'm sure that we both still like eachother a lot. We meet every few weeks, we send e-mails frequently and we talk on the phone every now and then, and it's always fun -- but on the other hand, she hardly ever calls me, sometimes she doesn't answer when I call her, and I don't really know what's going on with her. I don't think she gave up on me and I'm sure she still likes me.

Do you think it's just beacuase she's like that, and I simply couldn't see it when we worked together? I would really like to get closer to her again, can someone give me an advice how to do it?


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Friendships should be mutual, and as you describe it, in your case it's not.

You should be frank with her and tell what's on your mind (or heart...). try to ask her how does she feel about your "lost friendship".

As I see it, if she doesn't call you and sometimes even not answer to your calls, you should leave it alone. maybe she isn't interested in keeping in touch with you anymore, but she feels uncomfortable to say it.

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10 helpful answers

Friendships should be mutual, and as you describe it, in your case it's not.

You should be frank with her and tell what's on your mind (or heart...). try to ask her how does she feel about your "lost friendship".

As I see it, if she doesn't call you and sometimes even not answer to your calls, you should leave it alone. maybe she isn't interested in keeping in touch with you anymore, but she feels uncomfortable to say it.

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Romano, thanks for your honest answer.

I met her last night (I posted the question after we decided to meet) and it was nice. Not as much fun as we used to have together, but still nice.

Anyway, turns out that I won't be able to follow your advice, at least until September. We have a mutual friend who lives abroad and she'll come back for a long visit next week. I'm probably going to see both of the a lot this summer. We'll see where we end up.

Posted 2006-06-27T08:03:22Z
 

Wait and see if she shows interest in your friendship herself. She may feel like she just needs a break, specially if she does not see you as bf material.

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