I don't want to bring you down at all but I would be very suspicious of this man's intentions, you say when you see each other it's intense because it's so rare, i'm guessing you sleep together on these occasions and I think he's been using you and your mind wants to make excuses for him because you can't believe he doesn't want the same as you. If he loved you as much as you love him he wouldn't be hesitating. I think he's using the "what if's" as an excuse not to get too involved. The fact that your now split up shows that he doesn't mind the relationship ending and nobody is that silly as to end a beautiful thing over the what ifs because love doesn't work like that. Your relationship is casual however intense or special it was to you, I think he's worked you out really well and has been having exactly what he wanted. I'm not saying it was all about sex i'm sure he had fun with you and enjoyed your company but your not "the one" for him. I'm sorry that is how I feel and i'm trying to be cruel to be kind. Good luck in everything and I hope this has helped even if you don't think i'm right-perhaps it's good to get all viewpoints sometimes.