My sister and I used to be good friends when we still lived with our parents. We slowly drifted apart after she left home, about 10 years ago, and I no longer feel like we're part of each other's lives anymore. We still meet quite often (always with our parents, though) and we help each other with babysitting and so on, but we certainly aren't friends these days. It saddens me. Do you think I can make this situation change?
Dear Becky:Yes, you can make this situation change specially since you seem to indicate that you would like a closer relationship with your sister.1. All relationships are based on proximity and frequency of interaction.So first you need to create occasions to interact. It does not need to be in person all the time. A regular phone conversation, a quick weekly "check-in" can do.
2. Multiply positive encounters, as in "pleasant", fun.
3. Regain intimacy by creating a "safe" atmosphere (free of criticism, sarcasm, mockery, etc...) that will allow you and your sister to make yourself more vulnerable - safely. Making yourself more vulnerable means: discussing issues about yourself that are beyond the surface of every day happenings.4. I am guessing your parents are playing the role of intermediaries. They might be trying to make sure that the two of you keep in touch and they might want to keep playing their role of parents.I would suggest you create occasions for your sister and yourself to meet without your parents. It should not be too difficult since you indicated that you have children.All this will not happen overnight, keep at it.Good Luck
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It's reasonable you have drifted apart, each develops independent life - but I think it is important to keep the friendship between sisters (and brothers).Maybe you should schedule shopping together or meeting for a movie or brunch et cetera.Although it starts as a logical thing, very soon it becomes fun and you are in each other lives again.
I would have tried to have some time with her alone or only with the spouses during a week end! The spuses are a key issue in this friendship.!
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Its natural that sisters get apart after they are married . They imbibe respective husbands behaviours or develop their own . So if it really troubles you a lot than go for a dinner or lunch along with your parents and talk openly this may solve your problem .
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Of course becky, it's never too late. It sounds like neither of you have made an effort to spend time together, so why not go out of your way to have dinner or something? Initiate and I'm sure your sister will realize your sincerity and make an honest effort to spend time with you as well.
hey common.. jus go to ur sis n spkt ha abt dis.. m sure she also b feelin de same..
its jus dat u need t spk t ha.. go to ha start spkin t ha abt ur past n tel ha how much u miss ha n love ha.. she ll surely understand.. afteral she s YOUR sis..
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It is most definite that you can change this situation into a positive one. I have 3 sisters and a few of us had issues whenever we got togehter. As the years went on all of us began to realize the importance of being there for one another. Im 49...one sister is 39..one 40 and one 54. The past few years have been good ones but before then we could not be in the same room for more than 10 minutes and we would start arguing. We have learned to talk things out and love one another. Life can be hard....having one another makes it worth living. We cry, laugh, and yes disagree on many topics but we have made a decision to love one another no matter what.....blessings!
try to build the relationship with your sister I have a sister and I have not seen her in about twenty years dont let something small keep you apart I wish you all the best always remember it i easy to say I am sorry than to let the split between you and your sister get bigger and not being able to mind it
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