Can someone please answer this question for ME ...

Hi Rodray,

     Sorry about your problem with your girlfriend.  Yes, she needs some psychiatric treatment and gets treated first before she can have a meaningful relationship with anybody.  Unfortunately these things happen.

   To start your life from scratch , I think these are the steps you need to take:

1.  If you are a religious person or you believe in God, you need to pray and ask God for His guidance.  This is a very difficult time in your life and God always gives us guidance and answers to our problems more than anyone here in Yedda can provide.

     The church is a good place to meet a good person.

2.  Next, don't jump into another relationship right away.  Just try to take it easy, get involved in your hobbies if you have 1 or 2.  If you love to dance, you can join a dance club in your area, if you like to go bowling, join a bowling club.  Do something that will get you off this problem.

  You may meet someone over there , at least you have something in common already.

 3.  I notice that you are 45 years old, I just wonder if you have children under 18 years old.  If you do, this is the time to pay more attention to them and spend more time with them, take them to activities they enjoy.  This is the time to be in close relationship with your relatives and friends because they are a good support system.

4.  I don't know how your financial situation is, but this is the time to get busy to improve your financial status by working a lot more to invest in things that will give you financial security.  When you meet a nice woman, then you can proudly say that you are financially stable.  There  is no rush to have another relationship right away.  God will send you a nice lady.  But you have to find her in the right places.  No bars, no nightclubs.

   Well , I hope this will help you.  Take care.

First of all, I am sorry to hear that you are hurting.

You need to ask the following questions:

Is this person on medication?

Should this person be on medication?

Do you truly love this person?

Are you willing to do what it takes to be with this person?

Once you have the answeres, talk with your partner, offer help and assistance. Find out the  bottom reasoning for the sudden change. It might be as simple as something bothering them or as hard as perhaps they do need some counseling. It is all up to you on how YOU truly feel about this person.

I leave you with one final question;

Can you picture your life without this person?

Sounds like you're going through your own "midlife crisis". You know you can never "start all over", and why would you want to anyway? That's like assuming a brain damaged person knows what they were like before. Nobody can exist in two realities at the same time. Deal with what you have still in front of you based on your experience, it's your only way through. Whatever you do, don't abandon your loved ones.

If you are not working, you need to get a job.  If you are going to start your life from scratch, you may need job training if you are not financially sound.  Check with community colleges in your area.  Many have counselors who can help you with career decisions.  Do you have family that you can live with while you make a transition?  Save your money.  Get your own place to live.  Become independent, responsible, and secure.  Love will find you again when you are ready.