What to do...? Relationship problems...

I waded through all the details about you and she and she and you and on and on. You are both emotionally exhausted in each other's company and need a lo-o-o-ng. lo-o-ng, lo-o-ong break. You re both young and have a lot to learn and you only learn through experience. Both of you should start dating others and stop thinking and comparing about each other. You might find after a year or so that you have each been able to develop a deeper and more meaningful relationship with others OR you might also find that after all the dating you still love each other and will be able to develop a deeper appreciation and love for each other without recrimination and accusations. I wish you both much success for the future.

Hi,

    I agree with Rock 100%.  I will give him 2 thumbs up for that.   Very nice advice.   In addition to what he said,  I think you two are very immature and need more  rest time from the dating scene to clear up your minds.  You are very young to sustain a serious long term relationship based on love , patience, and tolerance.  All the things that you both did were all pure childish, trying to retaliate and to get back at each other, hurt the other person emotionally.  It will probably take 5-6 years before you are going to reach the emotional maturity that is a very important ingredient to form a successful marriage.  In the meantime, I suggest that both of you should get busy improving yourself, getting a good education and building a profession and a career that will make you more financially stable and more desirable and also being able to contribute positively to the society as a whole.  Young people are the pillars of society and  the hope of a greater nation.  So it is really very important for the younger generation to be guided in the right direction in life.  I come from the Philippines and I see a great  difference of the teenagers here in America and other Asian countries.  The priority of people your age here  in America is mostly about sex, sex, drugs, alcohol  and teenage pregnancy whereas when we were growing up, our priority was to finish college and to become professionals, and boyfriends came later, because we thought we could find a better man when we graduate from college.

     There are so many teenagers your age who don't finish college.  This country provides student loans, so there is no excuse for people here to be poor or underprivileged.  There is no reason why professionals from Asia and other countries would come to the U.S. to fill the job vacancies in Nursing, Engineering, Medicine, Medical Technologists and scientists.  If kids like you are guided properly in their life direction, you will have a surplus of all these professionals and there will be no room for foreigners like me.

     You are young enough to be my son, I'm 54 but I did not have any children.  If you were my son, I will advise you to go on with your life, get busy preparing yourself to be a better person so that you will be proud of yourself being able to contribute to this society and not  being a liability like a lot of these kids now.  I don 't know how you will take this advice.  I am sure you did not expect this kind of response from somebody in Yedda but that is how I really feel about young people who are misguided and waste their precious time doing crazy things  that get them nowhere.  I hope you and your friend the best of luck  and success in life.

My advice to you is to work on just being friends with this girl.  You both have an entire life ahead of you.  Neither one of you are ready to engage in a serious relationship.  You and she will continue to meet other people and chances are that you both will be attracted to them at some point.  Relationships take a lot of work and commitment.  You've just begun to live your life.  Do you have any aspirations as to what you want to accomplish in your life?  Are you going to college?  Do you have a steady job?  All of these things will help you see what the world is all about, and until you really get 'out there', you are like a bump on a log without a clue as to what your life can become.  You need to experience a lot more before you tie yourself down to one person.  And if that person does things that make you feel like she doesn't care about you, then she's not ready to make a commitment to you either.  Get out and find good people.  There's no law that says you have to be unhappy in anything you do.  Learn to love yourself enough so you don't

i think well from what i know what could really be happening is that she can also be a big flirt and girls can forgive people its not like they will forgive you so you have to forgive them...i think you should try to work it out but try to talk to her and spend as much time with her as you can and see if she is cheating or not like if she never wants to hang out with you or doesnt really like talking to you then something is up but if you hang out with her more she will probabaly stop all that flirting she does with guys and just think about you the only guy she has to think of and nobody else but if she keeps doing the same thing then give up or let her go some times when a guy leaves it teaches the girl a lesson so then she can realize that she made a horrible mistake

WOW, I read your problem and question, my best advice from a female point of vew is that you two need to splin up you. You to will never be able to trust eachother completly. that will onley lead to more hirt feelings, betrayel, and drama.  Im sorry to say this but you to are not helthey for eachother.  

It is true about girls craving attention, but if she went to the extreme to make another guy think she is going to sleep with him to get the attention she is wanting she will go farther whin it comes down to it.  You have every reason not to trust her. I wouldent.  I understand having ishews but that is no reason to leed someone on.  If her hart was truley into you she would have never done that no mater how much she needed the atention.  If she would lead someone else on like that what is stoping her from doing the same to you. Oh and you sayed that she was willind to beleve that you didnt cheat on her so that in return has made you feel like you should bleve her, here is another point of vew the reason she is so willing to beleve you is becouse she has allready cheated on you and is feeling guiltey for it, and she is wanting to hide the fact that she has and is using reverse phicolagy on you. To kinda gult you into beliveng her, and not looking in to the fact that she may have cheated on you to much. eater way it goes your trust has bed broke for eachother, those lines haven ben crosed, and now you to should count it as a loss, and go your seprate wayes. 

I hope that helpes 

The best thing is to really have a break with each other. I know it sounds really weird and risky, but there have been incidents when even married couples felt that way and instead of divorcing, went to a therapist that said they should spend time with other people, date other people, stuff like that. I can't guarantee that the whole thing is going to work out, but if u really love her, u have to take risks in your relationship. And remember. A few of the most useful and helpful inventions in history were created by mistake. Don't keep sulking about ur mistakes instead embrace them as opportunities to gather information and who knows? With risk and mistakes, your relationship will be back united. :)

i think you should try to see whats going on like talk to her more and pay attention to her and basiclly listen to her more and try to find out if she is or not because just that she believed you of all those rumors doesnt mean that ohh shes doing something its just probably that she realizes that rumors can get out of hand and people make lies to make there lives seem like they have one which they dont and she probably is just a big flirt and also she was probably doing that because you were emotional abusing her and she needs to feel sexy and pretty and beautiful not put down or anything so try to regain that trust try so much that the only guy she will be thinking about is you and no one else and that emotional abusing can really drive you away from somebody. but if she is cheating on you then dont try to help because you cant help someone that doesnt want to help themselves or even take your advice make her feel special because if she is looking for attention let the attention come from you not from random guys and you shouldnt snoop through her phone because if she finds out she will be SUPER pissed and then you might get another black eye but still talk to you and tell her you love her aND that your sorry and hopefully she sayd it back for making you all worried just make her fell like she has someone to come and talk to not like she has to hide something especially not from you (her boyfriend) . but TRY atleast  and if you try and fail atleast you tried you gave i a shot. and then if you try and succeed then awesome !!! =D