Relationship

Nancy, it sounds like there are some things your boyfriend is holding back from you. Maybe he does feel intimidated if you have a job and he does not, but it still is not the reason he wants out of your relationship. I would sit down with him and try to find out other things that are going on. If you two do break up do not stay in his apartment, that is just asking for trouble.

I don't think sara411 read your question properly...he has a job and you don't, correct?  I've had people break up with me because I didnt make enough money, not a very good reason, but it does happen.  9 times out of 10 if someone dumps you for not having $$ they're self-centered and you're better off not being with them in the first place, but your situation sounds a little different.

After 17 years of dating him if he's stopped telling you he loves you and wants you to get a job there's something deeper going on here.  It sounds like something has changed the way he feels about you and he wants you to get work so he knows you won't be financially screwed when the relationship ends.  His offer to let you stay in the apartment is a way of easing his own conscience and shows he does still have some concern for your well-being, at least.  But, I wouldnt accept.  If you have friends or parents you can stay with until you get on your feet I'd go that route.  It sounds like this guy wants out and isnt willing to tell you why.

Hi Nancy,

     I agree with what Glyttch said.  I gave him 2 thumbs up.

    You had this boyfriend for 17 years.  That is a long time to be with a man without marriage.  You were just his shack-up woman( sorry for being blunt).  That's what happens when people don't commit and  don't get married, the moment one wants to end the relationship, that's the end of the story.  You spent all this time with him and he decided to dump you just like that.  I'm sorry about that.  You did not say if you had kids with him, I hope not because those kids will suffer a lot.

     He does not really love you.  It shows in his actions.  Did you ask him if he still wants you if you found a job?  I think that he pretty made up his mind to end the relationship.  If I were you, I would not stay any longer.  As Glyttch said, it's wise to stay with relatives or close friends until you found  a good job so you can support yourself.  It's always a very good idea for women to have a profession so that we won't be at the mercy of men like your boyfriend.

     With everything very expensive, nowadays, I think that both couples should go to work to be able to afford a pretty decent lifestyle.

     Take care and hope you'll be able to cope with this.  And learn the lesson: NO MORE SHACKING UP WITH A MAN.  Don't give FREE SEX.