We can't answer many questions about the universe we live in, why do we think that we can decide how it came into being....
As a Humanist, I concern myself with the here and now, and the future of our planet and especially our species. You may find some peace in being active in your community or a least in your family's well-being. Live as if this was all there is, and let the future unfold as it should. Check out spiritualhumanism.com
Many regards
Eileen
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