I'm madly in love with my boyfriend, and he is the same.
But two and a half months ago, I was drunk (VERY drunk) and at his friend's house. We both trusted his friend. When we were alone, we started to dance to Prince, because this guy was a big fan. He took off his own shirt, and then mine. He wasn't touching me, and I trusted him to be good to his friend and respect me. But I still didn't feel like dancing any more.
I took off the rest of my clothes without thinking I was in danger, because I want to be naked, and I want to be appreciated. He did the same and we sat at other end of his couch, and we talked for a while. I felt like it was okay, though my original thought was uncomfortable when my shirt came off, and I knew I had to get dressed for the sake of my boyfriend. He feels differently about being nude.
When I went to put my clothes back on this man grabbed me by the ankle and pulled it up to look at me between my legs. When I tried to put my foot back down he pushed it back up. He began talking about how beautiful I was. He started to touch himself. He couldn't get hard. Too drunk. Asked me to touch him. I said no. He asked again. I said no, again. I love my boyfriend. I didn't want to touch this man, I didn't want this to be happening. I didn't know what to do. He told me that it wouldn't be the first time he slept with his friend's girlfriend. I scolded him, and that was enough for him to let go.
I was able to pull away from him and grab my clothes. He put on his own, and I sat at the far side of the room, unsure what to do. He lives on a bad side of town, I couldn't leave without him, but we were both really drunk.
I fell asleep on his couch, and he went to his bed.
I told my boyfriend what happened two days ago, omitting him grabbing my ankle, and I said I'd taken off my own shirt. He broke up with me immediately. He took me back the yesterday, but I had to tell him the whole truth. When I did, he became very upset and couldn't understand why I hadn't told him all at once. He thinks that there will be more 'details'. He asked me very specifically for the whole story when I first told him, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him everything.
Now he needs time to think. He's so angry that I lied to him. I'm so upset that I did. But this is the man that I want to share old crinkly years with. He feels betrayed, and he's known to walk away from problems. I'm giving up drinking. I understand why he feels the way he does about nudity; he feels its sacred between two people in a relationship. My trust in others is low, even if they have his trust. What if I lose the love of my life over this? How can I deal with him not talking to me now? And what if he takes me back but can't bring himself to trust me and leaves?
I know that I lied to him, but I didn't want to be anywhere near his friend. I love him, and I was never interested in his friend. Even if I was the situation was disgusting and I wouldn't have done anything. I was taken advantage of. My boyfriend feels he was as well. I hate that he got hurt. I don't know what to do.
