amazinggirl, not much. Unfortunately my two sons have had to suffer with this problem all of their lives and keep asking the same question, as you. My sons are in their 40's and are still asking the same question, why can't my father just be a caring dad and quit trying to buy us off with material things or money. And the answer, unfortunately is the fact that your father is emotionally retarded, and has no clue as to how to relate to his offspring. The only thing he knows is money and BUYING affection. He has no clue as to how to gain it through respect and love, only how to buy it. It is not something you have done or not done, just the way he is wired, and to hope to change it is nil to none. How very sorry I feel for you as I do my own sons, who all of their lives have just wanted a father that took an interest in their lives and acted like he cared. THAT is your fathers only way of showing he cares, empty as it may be, that is the best he can do. For whatever reason, you just have to forgive him for his inadequacies, and know that this is the only way he has to show you he loves you. I know it seems pretty shallow and heartless, but he has nothing else to give. Whether it has something do with the way he was raised or he is just incapable of intimate human contact, the dynamics of this behavior are still under investigation. Even scientists haven't cracked this "nut " yet.
The only advice I have for you is to try and get over it, and realize that not everyone has a parent or parents that know how to show love without a monetary amount involved. Don't take it personally, it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. For some reason he doesn't know how to show love or affection without a $ sign attached.
You have all my sympathy, I know what you are going through as I have watched my own sons try to deal with this all of their lives. I know it's hard to deal with, but the sooner you recognize that nothing you do will change his behavior, the better off you will be. Don't hate him, pity him for his inability to connect with his own offspring in a meaningful and loving relationship, that you so desire, and that he is so deprived of feeling or showing that affection.
