Philosophy of happiness

Hey Zoro,

I think the main reason for the issue to become so serious lately is because of what's happening in the world.. The terrorism that has been striking the western civilization in recent years is leaving its mark on people. Eventhough most people have not encountered it personally, when you watch the news and see that there has been a bombing, it does something to your soul, even if you don't sense it right there.

In general, our entire lives have changed in recent decades like never before, and with the technology came some awful disasters, by man and by nature. Thus, happiness is not what is used to be, and there is much more philosophical emphasis on it

It seems happiness is mostly genetic.  I've read studies that have observed that people tend to have a certain happiness "set point" that they drift toward by nature.  Regardless of the course our life takes, we are only briefly perturbed from our usual set-point, and gradually return.  

So, although maintaining a philosophy or mind set that strives toward happiness can help some, most of how happy you are is already set.  If you want to improve that part of happiness that isn't strictly genetic, marry someone who is genetically much happier.  The constant laughter and good cheer of your spouse will definitely rub off.

As for why "philosophies of happiness" seem to be waxing lately, I think it may be like any fashion trend - something is always becoming more popular as previous fads fade.  I dispute the notion that our spirits are weighed down more nowadays.  Anybody here remember the cuban missile crisis?  Or living through the entire cold war with the certain knowledge that nuclear annihilation was always just a button-push and a 16-minute flight away?  Now there was a time that weighed on the soul.

Happiness is important because there seems to be a great lack of it. That  lack creates the motivation for learning philosophy. The word philosophy already gives an indication of the way to achieve happiness. It means the love of wisdom and knowledge. This kind of love will never lead to frustration, the major cause of depression and unhappiness. It will teach you to live in accordance with  truth, not necessarily any absolute truth, but the degree of truth you were able to reach so far. It may even be a dogmatic truth if you really believe that it will make you happy. Buddha teaches that any attachment that may enslave you and cause you to loose control over your life should be avoided. Happiness is a moral achievement because a happy person is a good person.

Regardless of what the "experts" may be telling people for money (i.e. buying their books) the philosophy of happiness is not a difficult thing to major. I was in the midst of a divorce because my wife decided that she was gong to explore sex outside of marriage. I asked her what I needed to do to keep our marriage together and she decided it was her chance to prove that I was not worthy. So her first task was for me to quit hanging out with certain mutual friends and to quit smoking pot. So I told my friends that I was not going to be able to be friends with them any longer and I quit smoking pot. I threw away everything I had related to drug use and walked away from it. She then decided that I should quit drinking beer and ultimately every other intoxicating beverage. So I quit these things too. All of this was fouling her perfect plan to show that I was unable to do the things she desired, which would have given her an easy out of the marriage.

I ultimately figured out that what she had done was given me tasks that she was sure were impossible for me so she could then say something to the effect of, "See You can't even prove you love me by doing these things!" Because I was able to accomplish every task she came up with, she felt uncomfortable in her own behavior. I on the other hand was discovering that I was able to do whatever I wanted or needed to do in order to improve my lot in life. She was going to go whether I did any of the tasks or not, so from that point on I decided to keep doing them just for me.

As I began to find I was indeed able to do whatever it was I needed to do to improve my self, I began to choose things that were going to make me feel better in my own life. My wife divorced me despite my improvements and unfortunately ended up in a shambles herself. The guy she thought was going to marry her after she dispatched me said he couldn't trust her because she had been cheating on me with him and he left her. I ended up with cusody of our two children and kept he house and basically all of the property we had owned. She ended up in a few tragic relationships that developed out of her own drug and alcohol use, and she ended up married and divorced like it was a sport.

I hope I don't sound like I'm gloating, because 22 years later we are very close friends, and after finally discovering herself, she called me about 2 years ago hoping we could maybe get back together. In that long time, I contiued to always take very small steps to make myself happy. I began with deciding that I would never lose my temper while driving and would lways indulge the "other guy" in every situation rather than honking the horn and flipping them off. It took me months to finally get there, but in over 20 years it has never happened again. I enjoy driving despite some other drivers obviously having a bad time with it. After that I picked another area in my life that needed improvement and fixed myself. Every one of these tasks ended up creating a more peaceful me and a much happier me.

My simple philosophy in life has become, "Life is too short to waste time worrying". Another is, "Life is too short to waste time being angry". These two ideas have made for a much more peaceful life and a happier me. What many people try to do is set a goal that is unrealistic for them. Then when they fail, they figure there is no point and quit trying to be better. So the idea is to set simple short term goals at first that are easily obtainable. Each victory makes you feel so much better, and then you can get on with the next simple short term goal. Instead of deciding that you will be a millionaire by 35, try setting something more realistic and short term like obtaining a job that is going to pay the bills. Most people will likely fail at the millionaire thing, but most will be able to find that job that pays the bills. Goal accomplished! Success breeds happiness.

I'm far from perfect I assure you, but I am happy. I retired at 52 and I am enjoying life because instead of shooting for millionaire I was happy with the realism of the fact that once the bills were paid, everything else was gravy. I don't sail the seas in my huge yacht, but I do spend some time on the beaches soaking up the sun. My mortgage was paid off early because I set a goal of paying it off early. That was easier than most people would think. One extra payment a year pays a mortgage off a couple years early. Now because I have no mortgage, I can live on very little money, and as long as I have decided to be happy with little, I AM happy.

Little steps. Short term - easily attainable goals. And most importantly, just deciding to be happy.