Hello. My name is Shaylyn. I've come here because I believe I may suffer from some kind of illness or disorder, OR I might not at all, and just think I do, I really don't know, I'm just looking for a little guidance. I've researched some of the problems I feel I could possibly be dealing with and it seems to all point to Borderline Personality Disorder. I was abused as a child, sexually abused. My dad had an anger issue, my parents got divorced. As of right now, I'm a college student, living with my father. We don't have much money, So I am trying to figure out what to do about actually getting legitimately diagnosed, or evaluated. Also, my parents don't know I was molested, I'm afraid to tell them, I'm not sure why, it would just be extremely hard for me. I've been having a lot of problems in the past two years. It's only been getting worse. I cannot concentrate on ANYTHING. I am very forgetful, my mind seems to go in like 2904823094823094 directions at once and I feel like I NEVER get anything accomplished, which is not good, with me being in college, I have been missing a lot of school, also due to the fact, that sometimes, I just don't want to go in public, for I don't even want people to look at me. I have a horrible self-image. I also have conflicting thoughts, like I feel split or shattered. I can't ever make a real decision, I always change my mind, and I feel like I'm on one of those carnival rides, the whirl-o-whip. My mind is always dizzy from the thought pattern. I have trouble sleeping, I have trouble trusting people, I feel alone(which I know is absurd), I like to harm myself, I have a lot of self destructive behavior, and I have eating problems. Any kind of guidance would be very helpful. I feel like I'm losing it :/
