For a person who is supposedly in a low place, you sure know how to ask one whopper of a tough question!  Good for you!  I don't know you or your age so this is a bandaid thing, but try making a list of all the good things about you.  Then make a list of all the things you like and would like to do with your life, both short and long term.  Buy a piece of white tag board and list Monday through Sunday at the top.  Write down your week and put in some new things, like going bowling alone (why not) or hitting balls at the golf driving range.  Join a health spa if you have $$ enough and you will get that lovely rush every time you exercise.  It really perks you up, believe me.   If you don't know how to do these things, all the better, all kinds of people will rush over to help you when they see you floundering.  For your self esteem, remember other people want to like you.  They will if you give them a chance and you'll feel great!