Personal Strength?

Well dreadlock... little question that takes a lot of time and a lot of energy... when I hit the rough patches in life... it calls for a complete re-evaluation... first I would call a close friend... you're never to old for a slumber party... go thru a complete vent... tell all and get it off your chest... while going thru a pamper phase... hit the hair... pedi - manicure... get the superficial stuff out of the way... you look good... you feel good... then hit a good bookstore... wander into self help... find something that speaks to you about what your in need of... do some random acts of kindness... I believe it is better to do for someone you dont even know... so you are not giving with the expectation of recieving something back... take a name off a X-mas tree and give to a child in need... regardless of your belief or background... simply do it knowing you will put a smile on a childs face and for them to feel important and loved... whatever you put out will come back... journel your feelings... make a list... positive and negative traits... keep these in the front of your head... work on them... Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU" may sound corny but its not... we train our brain to percive ourselves in a certain way... that should be enough to get things started and then your journey should take you to where you want to be naturally... Keep in mind to be easy on yourself... I often tell ppl... I am not afraid of others feelings or opinions of me... its my own judgment and opinion of myself I worry about... if you cant give yourself a break... who will??? Good luck:))

I understand where you are coming from. The best advice that I can give you for building self-esteem and confidence is to read self-help books and listen to self-help tapes. But it is important to find an author that you really connect with. If you do that then you almost immediately improve your attitude. And when your attitude improves then you begin to feel better about yourself and to attract positive people and positive situations into your life. My personal favorite book is "Maximum Achievement" by Brian Tracy. It turned my life around.

Yes I have.  I was raped and beaten within an inch of my life, this on top of being married to an abuser at the time. 

We don't think of words being as bad as physical abuse but they are and they cling to you even when you believe they are not bothering you.  It is a constant.  Always with you.  Words are living things.  That is why mothers who constantly belittle their children are beating them without understanding what they are doing.  Men their wives, fathers their sons. 

How did I get past it.  I had a good childhood, bad marraige, I have come to understand your gonna get it sooner or later in life.  Good childhood/bad marraige, Bad childhood/good marraige, seems to be a pattern.  I have met thousands of people in my career.  This war alone, 30/40 men a day, 7 days a week, 14 months that adds up to thousands for just that time alone.  I have heard life stories, we are products of those experiences. 

I suppose the war, this one especially, focused me.  Made me see what is important and what is not.  That each day the sun comes up signaling a new day, a new start.  The seasons come and go as reminders, things die, harsh times happen, then there comes a new beginning, everything renews itself.  That is how I got through it.

Every morning birds sing, they never cease to amaze me.  They are there, through bitter cold and gentle rain into Spring and Summer.  Tiny, frail things, how empty the world would be without their songs.  That is how.  They called me back to life, along with the seasons.

I hope you will listen and look and find your way again.  The journey is not worth taking without the bad times.  Someone once said without evil in the world we would not recognize the good.

For a person who is supposedly in a low place, you sure know how to ask one whopper of a tough question!  Good for you!  I don't know you or your age so this is a bandaid thing, but try making a list of all the good things about you.  Then make a list of all the things you like and would like to do with your life, both short and long term.  Buy a piece of white tag board and list Monday through Sunday at the top.  Write down your week and put in some new things, like going bowling alone (why not) or hitting balls at the golf driving range.  Join a health spa if you have $$ enough and you will get that lovely rush every time you exercise.  It really perks you up, believe me.   If you don't know how to do these things, all the better, all kinds of people will rush over to help you when they see you floundering.  For your self esteem, remember other people want to like you.  They will if you give them a chance and you'll feel great!