Is His Partner Cheating? Does He Confront Her?

When I read the following comments I know there's a message being sent;

"Two months ago his partner of seven years moved out of their flat with no warning she said she felt smothered."  

"she said they had nothing in common." 

"she just needs space"

"there was a text message on it sent from her to another man ...inviting him back to her flat".

it's apparent to me that she has moved on and that counselling would be a waste. It's difficult for most people to end a relationship gracefully so they try to have it both ways to ease the pain, which always makes things worse in the end. It doesn't sound to me as if he needs to get to the bottom of this, she already has.

I would advise him to let her go and move on. If she feels differently ,she will not allow that to happen but if she does agree to move on he'll know the answer.

Monty, I have to agree with Gary in terms of her having moved on. She moved out; she made the decision, clearly on her own, that this relationship was over.

Now, I read your comment to Gary about your friend telling this woman she's free to go and her panicking and coming back to him. In this case, I think your friend needs to be more realistic. The woman moved out of a shared flat. Even if she panicks now and says she still wants to be with your friend, her behavior says otherwise. So counseling at this point is a real waste of money, as your friend's girlfriend is not interested in mending whatever is broken in their relationship. Her behavior/text messages to this other guy are a testament to that. I think your friend needs to cut his losses and move on. Otherwise, he will continue to invest in this "relationship" all the while not really knowing if she's continued the lying and sneaking around his back (and what kind of relationship can that really be?). Your friend sounds like a good guy. We need more of him around. I hope he realizes he deserves someone who will treat him with respect, be completely honest with him, and appreciate all he has to offer. This woman is clearly not the one.

It's over. He needs to just let it go. It doesn't matter if he loves her. It doesn't matter if he misses her. If there's no trust, there's no relationship. Frankly, while I'm not a macho idiot, I think your friend did too much for her, was too passive, not enough a man. Women don't want a bully or an abuser or some crap like that, but they also don't want a guy that's more a wife than a husband. They want a man, with all the things a good man brings to a relationship, things which are different than those a woman brings in. She didn't find what she was looking for in him, and moved on. He needs to move on as well, and find a woman who appreciates him for what he has to offer. You can't change people. You have to find one that fits to start with. Get what you want, don't settle for what you can get.