Nurse in distress

in my opinion it could either of two things , your father paid extra attention to you because your mother did'nt or your mother was disgusted by the special attention meanig sexual, that your father gave to you and did not know how to deal with it. you need to ask your mother straight out or your siblings depending on whether they were older than you at the time, they may not want to hear about it but its the only way to find out. im not an expert but its the best advice i can give. if they don't want to talk to you no more , no big loss! they've shunned you already.  lean on your friends for support & seek some couseling. good luck!

I will start by telling you that you have definitely had it tough and I'm sorry to hear of your woes.

I am not a fan of hypnosis at all, which is odd because I am a very open-minded person. I'm a psych student-eventually a counselor and substance abuse therapist. (Not to toot my own horn, but the amount of knowledge I've gained in the past 2 years alone is astronomical!)

Really what I would suggest is finding a psychoanalytic therapist. Be forewarned that they are few and far between and can sometimes be costly. BUT-when it comes to digging into the past, they are phonomenal! Not only will they regress and uncover unconsious memories, they will then help you deal with them in the present. They may even use transferrance & countertransferrance-where you are to project your feelings toward your mother and father onto your therapist. It's a type of role-playing, if you will. This is a highly effective form of therapy, but since it's based on what Freud believed, it's kind of outdated and rejected by many other therapist types. It truly could help you, though. It may be somewhat lengthy, so be patient. I hope this advice helps. Keep your head up and remember how important and precious the present is...

Bad, oldfashioned psychotherapist will investigate whether you were abused as a child. Good, modern psychotherapists will instead investigate how you feel today, and what the problems are with your current situation.

As is often said, a little knowledge can be dangerous at times!  The cost and the time involved for psychoanalysis (which is quite different than what is described above) is not practical these days unless you are a Woody Allen.........Nurse, you are  definately very depressed and probably been suffering from post traumatic stress for most of your life.  Trying to get at repressed or false memories is a dangerous way to go.  I would suggest that you find an experienced therapist, start where you are now, get help for your depression and just be patient and see where things lead.