Net friend torturing me.....

Sounds like you have been honest with her lately as well as a good friend. Some people just cant trust a person that has lied to them and that may be going on with her. You are probably right she needs help too. If she was a good friend she would be aware of how she is making you feel. If i were you I would tell her "you know what, I love you, but I cant deal with this. Maybe when we both get some help, we can be better friends". Then change your email addresses, and don't answer her calls. Tell your parents you befriended this person and the friendship is just not working out, and you don't want to talk to her. You don't owe her anything.

There are people out there that are capable of being an actual good friend. You need a friend that can be calm and predictable. That will help you be a better person too.

You are not your body, or your 'looks', Ilimah, but you are your soul. And, as an adult, you are also (fully) responsible for what you think, say, and do. Had you ever thought that those with whom you communicate may simply love you for who you are? In other words, if you think, speak, and act kindly towards others - there is never any need to lie about anything - those with whom you communicate will simply accept you as they find you? Or not.

I believe you need to deeply and sincerely apologise to the person concerned. Say that you have not been very well - and that you hope she will find it in her heart to forgive you. Also that you understand if she never makes contact with you again. And then leave it at that.

Don't be afraid. You're a very young woman - have you explored ways to improve your appearance in your own eyes? Perhaps you could ask your parents to help.

Everyone makes mistakes - the most (and only) important thing is to learn from them. (Not to do it again).

GOD Bless you.

Elisha

If I read your statement correctly, you've never even really met this girl in person.  Please beware of people on the internet as they may not be as they seem, just a cautionary word.  If you haven't met her in person, you don't really know who it is; could be a 72-year-old man in Iceland working on your insecurities.  Although nobody should ever downplay suicide threats, there are people who use suicide threats as a way of controlling others, especially those who already feel guilty but who are sensitive and caring people.  I can't understand why she would continue to write to you if she's that hurt.  Regardless of her reasons for threatening suicide, you must understand that you have done nothing to this person that would make her so uncorked that she would have to end her life - so there must be many other, deeper issues driving her threats.  If she ever were to do it you could be assured that whatever you said or did was just the tiniest tip of a really big iceberg, one that's been building for many years.  You do not deserve to have this held over your head.  With regard to your "compulsive lying," do you find this is a problem in the rest of your life?  If it's only this time, I suggest to you that many people out there use the internet and email to make themselves sound happier and different than they actually are - probably about 90% of internet mail users? More?  That's the advantage of the internet - you can be anyone you like.  I would suggest that you apologize to her for embellishing the truth of your life, suggest that she see someone professionally for her depression, change your email addresses and any other contact numbers you've given her, and move on.   The other story here is how you feel about yourself.  I can understand your self-esteem issues because I've been there too.  We can't see you, and so can't tell you if you really have "poor looks" or just poor self-image, but I can assure you that most people out there on the internet do not meet the criteria for being included in Playboy magazine.  If you're lonely, there might be a better way to meet people, such as a church gathering.   All those who have responded seem to have the same suggestion - find things about yourself to love, require respect for yourself and others, find your skill in life and enjoy it, and don't worry about what others think.