Need a relationship counselors help on this one

About Relationships!

OK, you're finding out that to reach a successful relationship is a difficult undertaking. So what else is new! Are you aware how many couples break up, how many divorces are filed each year and how many single moms are struggling to bring up children? We are living in a world with fewer rules and ever more choices.

So, you ask, what does that have to do with me?

Have you ever noticed that when a young woman goes to buy a sweater for example, she might look at sweaters in a half-dozen stores. And then, in the end, she might not buy anything. This is perfectly legal and though as a man you might not want to take the time that this sort of choosing involves, you must recognize that the female sex response differently to the same situations.

So get with it! Understand that your girlfriend is just looking around. And, d'you know something, if you are her top boyfriend, you might come out alright.

Do yourself a favor and let go! Your friends are right. If you are meant for each other - and I do not believe in this dictum - she might come back to you. But in the meantime, start fresh, check out my website for more info on relationships and give her the space she needs. 

Agree with kpopp above to a certain extent however... I see your catch 22 and I would do neither... you cant not respond because thats what got you in this position in the first place... you dont want tit for tat... but you cant look desperate either or youre done for... so I would casually reply... do not repeat do not directly reply to the message she sent you and go overboard telling about we're just friend or dont worry about this or that... you are not in a relationship at this time and quite frankly it's none of her business and then you leave room for imagination... so if you reply I would be as nice.. friendly... confident... as possible... Something along the lines of... Hey sorry I haven't said hello lately but I've been busy... ya I have a few new friends... I hope your doing well I think of you and miss you from time to time... maybe we can get together for coffee sometime and play catch up...     

Just a hint - Maybe you talk too much and your girlfriend felt smothered.

Look,your still young go out there and look for a girl that just like her if not then better. If she haven't called you back yet then that means she just need sometime to think. Once she see that you have stopped calling her she is going to wonder ,where have you been and what have you be doing.Just give sometime,but in the meantime go out and date just to keep your mind off of her things will pull together just give it sometime. I'm a 19 year old women and I know how it is to brokeup like that my boyfriend just gave me some space and once he stop calling i called him! HINT!

Maybe, you just need yo give her some space she'll come along. Stop calling her she just need to see how it is to be with out you, believe me she will call you.

Kpopp's sweater analogy is true, but only for new relationships.  Yours had been established for years and so it doesn't really apply to you.  In fact, I may know Kpopp personally, and if he is who I think he is, my old friend from Stanford, than don't take his advice.  He was in a long term relationship with a Korean woman and yet he continued to meet other women.  He tried to pick up on Camille, and then Camille figured it out and she alerted all of his friends on MySpace that he is a womanizer.  I continued to be his friend, but his girlfriend deleted all of my emails for a month.  It was hugely annoying, but also I felt sorry for her because her boyfriend was a loser!   Tell Kpopp to try to be monogomous for one year and then watch him to see if he can do it.

I am not a counselor, but when I read your letter my first gut feeling was that you didn't give your girlfriend what she needed.  You were extremely affectionate by writing beautiful poems and celebrating your anniversay on a montly basis, but you missed certain milestones in your relationship that she probably expected. 

Most women expect to be offered a marriage proposal within a year and a half.  Their family's religious background influences their expectations a lot, and so expectations are different from one family to the next, but have you ever met a woman who wanted to wait for 3 1/2 years to get her marriage proposal?    

When you decided on creating an online business instead of going to graduate school or getting a job, it sent a message to your girlfriend that you were not planning to get married any time soon.  She probably figured that you planned to spend the next few years trying to get your start up off the ground, and that she would have to wait that much longer.

She's a junior in college and all of her friends are searching for The One, and if the college offers graduate programs than she has watched many of the older students get married.  In the meantime, she's being left out.

If you want this woman back, keep your line of communication with her open, apply for graduate school to show her that you plan to be responsible, and propose to her.

I looked at Kpopp's profile and it's not the same guy I was thinking of. 

if you really love her and cannot emagine your life with her not a part of if stay friends with her no matter if you or her find someone elae if it was meant to be you both will open your eyes and know she is the one but what ever you do do NOT give up on her if you love her it is worth fighting for if it is real!!!