I can't badmouth my girlfriend of 6 months. She is or was like the almost exact version of me re: personality and respect and we feed off each other well. I had not felt 100% like myself ever until we got closer over the last couple of months.
In February Fight #1 was over her how she thought I was eventually going to leave her eventhough everything was fine and caused a good 1+ hour or so of nonsense on our way home one night. She cried alot and told me it was just her being insecure and apologized 1000 times. I felt bad and knew she is not an evil person. It was insecurity and I got it. all good after that.
Fight 2 was her admitting she was a brat and made me miss a party b/c she didnt really want to go like 4 hours before eventhough she knew about it 3 weeks ahead. Turned on the tears begging me to stay and I got furious about it and her telling me I will call my sister to come pick me up . She promised it would not happen again. This would have been strike 1 and 2 like that but I know she knows she was WAY out of line and needed to check it.
I know she has a serious body image problem which I cant help and she sees a shrink over it which I was fine with until alot of bad times started in February and has picked alot of fights b/c she cant make decisions and continues to not do what she knows she should do re: working out to stay thin which makes her angry and hard to talk to with basic stuff and then gets mad at me if I tell her the same thing. Problem is she drags it on for along time with the same result of " I know what I should be doing".
Two Fridays ago she assumed cuz she couldnt reach me (drunk a bit at a friends wedding) that I was messing around. Picked a bad time to argue with me being a bit drunk and I kept saying " I dont know why my phone was going to vmail and it was on all day". Turned out she was more mad for me not calling her 2 say I am going to be out late which is 1000% fine b/c it's my bad and i know it's inconsiderate. I know I never give her a reason to suspect. Not even an issue and she knows it.
Right now I am emotionally spent. Two nights of nonsense again. Monday she has a problem with me going back home to go hang with one of my friends and party all night and come home the next day. Continues to say it's just inappropriate for someone in a relationship to do this. I ask why. No answer at all though I tell her i want to see if it's me being selfish. Monday night tells me I get the feeling you dont want me and I am on eggshells. TRUE.. I dont want her behavior like this.
I think the final straw came last night. She comes into the room as I am online checking yahoo mail. Some bs yahoo personals comes up in my mail. She starts giving the routine. I said you cant spam yahoo mail when you are on yahoo account. She starts typing ways to unsubscribe b/c she thinks that would stop it and wont listen to me. She sees that I am not subscribed to it or anything so I cant be signed up to get emails. I get mad at tell her " I am beyond disappointed with you and you should be too. No reason to not trust me and I dont want to talk to you right now. Just dont talk to me"
Left for work today seperately. I told her I am just tired of the nonsense and I cant get into it. She said "well yesterday you wanted to talk so it's ok". I responded "all I wanted you to know is I am not mad at you or anything".
She is a good kid and kind and appreciates me but it is BEYOND hard to deal with on and off. Before February and some weight gain there was no problems at all. One thing I see is She didnt have parents tell her when her acting is not mature which is why she doesnt check herself and after the fight tries to keep apologizing when acting like this makes me be BEYOND angry.
I honestly am just not feeling attached to her. I dont have that thing in my gut that it's all good no matter what like I used to. It's the constant drag out nonsense.
I admit I was kinda quiet and not the goofball and funny guy at times in January and some of Feb when I had no job but it never led to not trusting things or completely changing the way I am.
Family and friends like her.
I know I cant change her but I thought I could help her behavior re: body image (she is in a good shape) and insecurity about anything else. She is not like me with tough love when I tell her to let it go and dont overanalyze everything or decision. THAT I can live with.
NO CLUE what to do here :{
