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Hi This is Angel I have explianed you breifly My problem Here Could you Please give me some advise and help.

we r been married for 2yrs and 5 months and my husband is a heavy drinker and smoker ,ours was a love marriage and he is very complex person he thinks a lot and its very difficult to understand him at times coz we have a age difference of 8 yrs where I'm just 24 ND he is 32 ,he has health problems bcoz of over thinking like anxiety nd lately he is getting problem's bcoz of his habits, he gets angry over Small and silly reasons and he says that his life isin a ditch and he want to die , i have tr yd talking to him not worked so to get the health problem diagnosed try'd going to the Doctor he is not cooperating and he just acts like a kid and wants all his work to be done by me and lazes himself all the time in the bed till 9.30 am , having a 10 month old baby leaving alone i find i t very hard to manage all the work coz baby wants me to be with her most of the time , if i tell him this he says i cant help u ,u do all the work by your self , every thing should be handy for him he is not even taken the responsibility for his own stuff, why not Even medicines i have to force , he is doing like doest like to live , and when ever he is drunk most of the time he has hit me very badly and even push me out of the house telling go back to your parent's place he acts as if he is gone mad and my in-laws say that u only got married so you should correct him , if im trying to do so he is not ready to accept the changes in himself and he wants the world to change for him which is not possible ..
and if my parents come though he acts such a way and says why the hell theyhave come to torture me ,, i don’t even have the freedom to speak to my parents when he is st home , so they come to vsit me when he goes to office ...
he keeps only telling bad word at me i feel very hurted and rejects nxt morning he says i love you , i really fail to understand him and sometimes i fell like killing my self, but when i think of the baby thats when i say what worng im doing ,

for the past few days though its has become so difficult that there no proper communication and any and everything i do is like being abused like 3rd class he uses words or calls me by names. i feel so disgusted when you hear those abusive words , he doesn’t hit me now but if i hear the abusive word feel so Ashamed of being his wife , and he says that im not even worth to be with him.

have bowed myself to the floor to my husband have changed myself yet in this marriage i didn’t get the freedom for the way im , i feel so dejected ,

ast week i tought i will leave him and move of ,but on the way i met my mom because of which i had to tell her all tht happend and later they took me nd baby to their house and told my husband till he changes his behaviour anf habbits they will not send me here, after 2 days he came to my moms place begged and pleaded saying that he wanted memore than anything nd correct my self and so he bought me back home

it's been like 3 days now after i have come from my parents home, this man still drinks nd says that i made a nonsense decision of leaving, what so ever i came to beg you to come back to me, nd every one r feeling that you have made such a stupid decision, if atall u wanted to you slhd have gome but not to ur moms place,

because i left him his friends wont even step into my parents home and lately he said i should not go meet my parents.

i was so hurted when i heard that , he wants me to leave my paarents the way he left his parents

he is being so rude on my mom.and said that i shoukd never go like my parents should take his permission to see me and if i want to go he will not send me their , he is telling all this indirectly,nlater he says i love you, i feel so artificial when he says he loves me and wants only me and my daughter and no one else, he wants me to leave my parents the way he left them 10 years ago, because he couldnt get adjusted to the way they were (like little bit of rules and regulations at home)
..

now more over i do have my parents to support me, but i dont have a job , for me to live independently , i have spoken to my mom abot me going for a job , but how do i move out of the house, if i move out atleast i will have to tell my mom about my plan,

please give me some nice suggestions, i feel like im trapped again...

please help me in this situation

Posted Answers

janissa10

1709 answers

692 helpful answers

I think you need to leave him & work on becoming a strong, independant woman. You could apply for cash, food & medical assistance to help you until you get on your feet. Start looking for jobs or get into a job training program. Be happy that you have parents who support you.. stay with them until you get the money up to move. You could even apply for housing through the assistance office when you apply for other benefits. You can do anything you put your mind on. Don't allow him to manipulate & abuse you any longer. He is not the one for you and definitely not a role model for your child. Any man who abuses you needs help & isn't going to change on his own.. if ever. Get away from him & learn to do for yourself.

Posted 2009-06-01T19:41:00Z

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