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Need help on this matter!

I am a 23 year old girl from a conservative family. I am the only child and have proper life and you can say i am a good college student. my family love me and i love them a lot. I do not want to hurt them in any condition. about a year ago i started dating a boy who is a very good nice, in one word he is the one that i love to marry. I have never slept with him, because i did not ruin family reputation and hurt my parents feeling. Now recently my so-called boy friend wants to sleep with me but i do not know how to explain this situation to him. I am out of excuses and this situation is killing me. i love the boy so much. he loves me but i guess this is pretty normal that eh wants us to sleep together. I am confused and frustrated and do not know what to do to keep both parents and my boy friend happy. I am really in a bad condition. this does not let me sleep or function as usual and i am getting isolated more and more. I ca not focus on my normal life stuffs and really need help. I would appreciate any method , advice or idea in this matter. Thanks in advance


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~ Snotternonsense  TurkeyEater ~

 

S.N.O.T.S., Inc.

Are you and your boyfriend from the same country and culture?  If not, there are always going to be issues.  Has your boyfriend ever said anything to you about marriage?  Are you free to marry whomever you choose?  A year is a very long time to be in a relationship without having sex.  But, I am an American and we tend to fall into bed at the drop of a hat.  This should be your decision.  You are 23 years old.  At some point, you have to decide who you are, and not what your family is.  Having sex with your boyfriend doesn't mean you are having a child with him, either.  I cannot tell you what to do.  All I know is that if you love this man and you want to marry him, and if he is of the same thinking, you should do what is best for YOU and not your family. 
Posted 2009-11-05T15:53:02Z
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Love is the battery of life....

Hi,
Your situation is very understandable.   The best thing you can do is discuss it with your boyfriend.  You'll have to be 100% honest and tell him the whole truth (exactly as you explained here).  Tell him that you come from a very conservative loving family, that they are very dear to you, and that you don't want to hurt them on the other hand you love him very much and understand his desires and sexual needs.  If he really loves you he'll undertand and wait until you are married.   The second option is having sex without penetration (several methods: oral, hand,.....) which is not very recommended (it is frustrating and can easily lead to penetration).    There is a third option which I believe you'll reject / dismiss: Talk to your parents, tell them the whole truth and ask for an advise (they might be more "open" that what you think and they will appreaciate the fact that you approach them for advise [showing by that that you love + trust + respect them and their way]). 
Best regards,
Posted 2009-11-05T16:01:14Z
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