Morally OK to snoop on boyfriend/girlfriend

Hi,

Hello,

I really think it's a bad idea. trust is a very basic part of any healthy relationship but in this type of situation you need to check yourself. Perhaps the whole situation is in your head and no matter what your partner does you will continue to have these thoughts. In that case you should attend this problem for it'll get in the way of any relationship you have.

Another possibility is that your partner is acting in a strange way and then rather then spying on him, simply talk to him and tell him how you feel. It's perfectly fine to feel insecure from time to time and your partner will understand that if he loves you.

In short you should keep things in the open cause doing things behind a partner's back is usually detrimental to any relationship. 

I have an urge to snoop through my fiance's personal things and I feel really guilty but I have found things I didn't like or didn't understand.  I know he has lied about some things but I didn't tell him I snooped and know the truth.  I need to know that he is total honest with me if we are going to be married.  I think I need to snoop because of my fear of another failing marraige.  I just wish I had the courage to talk to him about what I found and get a better understanding of him without upsetting him that I snooped through his things. 

Here's your thinking:  I'll snoop once just to make sure and that will be it.  Ah, but you'll get the urge to snoop again, and again, and again.  And eventually, if you keeping looking, you will find something you don't like and then you'll feel justified in being disrespectful, dishonest and untrustworthy.  You'll have found exactly what you were looking for from the beginning:  a reason not commit yourself to a relationship in the first place, a reason to shop around a little more, because you're not ready.  Love is an act of faith to begin with.  How can you expect someone to have faith in you, if you can't have faith in return?  If you have this urge to snoop and be deceitful, then you're not ready for a real relationship in the first place - you haven't matured - A LOT OF PEOPLE NEVER DO.  You might be one of these people, or maybe not.  Time will tell.  But rest assurred, if you get caught snooping, your boyfriend/girlfriend will never be able to completely trust you.  And most likely,  the resentment will grow over time and he/she will dump you, or if they're smart - Dump You the second they find out that you don't trust them and have no respect for their privacy.  My advice - grow up - or spend your life moving from one unhappy relationship to the next (like most people.)

GOOD LUCK :)