Mom and her comments

How would you have reacted to the comment "You are to dressed" when you know you are not.?

Keep in mind I always get compliments from strangers, friends on the way I dress

Today I put on light gray capri pants and a button down light gray blouse. In the middle of the blouse going from top to bottom is a design.

Any way around 10:30am I screamed out to my mom to turn on Channel 4 (NBC) - they had Produce Pete on. She asked what was it about and I told her it is about how to pick peaches. She came into my room to watch and after the segment was over she looked at me and said "You looked to dressed up" . This got me mad and we had some fight. Of course she said mean things like "The blouse is too big" "You used to buy things that fit you now you just grab any old thing" " You look like you are going to a ball" which none of what she said is true. ALL I WAS DOING WAS WEARING A PAIR OF GRAY CAPRI PANTS AND A GRAY BLOUSE

Then she left the apartment to go out for the day but she telephoned me five minutes later from the car - she never pulled out of the spot by the apartment building. She called to ask if I wanted to go with her so I said ok, I saved the spot. We have one spot in the back that we pay for the other car has to park on the street. Her car is usually on the street and my car is usually in the spot we pay for reason being she works and I am home so I take her to work and pick her up so I dont have to worry about finding a spot during the day.

Any way when we were at lunch I told her that she had no right to say anything and she said that she could say anything she wants and it was nothing terrible to say when she said I was over dressed. I told I was not.

I am really beginning to hate her. I WORE THE GRAY BLOUSE AND THE GRAY CAPRI PANTS - I DID NOT CHANGE. I

ALSO I hate the way she dresses. Yes she wear capri pants but she only wears tee shirts during the summer and they cling to her. And I would never dress the way many people dress here - they dress in tee shirts, torn jeans, stretched stuff, stuff that does not match.


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As I read your post I think to myself two insights:

First, I can feel your discomfort and I  justify you. Such a comment can make anyone very angry.

But since I guess it will be very difficult to change your mum's behaviour,I would recommend an   humorous response. If you will be able to whisper to yourself something funny anytime you here your mum's comment, then you can overcome it and you can be happy.

I am a coacher and I usually suggest this method to my patients. After a period of exercising they succeed, and live in a peace with there  annoying environment.

הנמר     פלי הנמר      פלי פלד

 

 

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277 helpful answers

 Be Thankful

 Speak softly

 Let your love shine...

This is excellent advice. It works on irritating spouses' comments too. NJoy

Posted 2009-06-02T15:12:17Z
NJoy was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

 
4 helpful answers

manners are free: everyone can afford them

it appears that the judgment goes both ways. you judge your mother and she judges you. the word hate is a little extreme. you and your mother have a relationship that lacks respect and boundries. you continued the "fight" at lunch.it appears that you two feed off of each other. you can only change you. grow up and stop being so petty. maybe it will rub off on your mother. happiness breeds contentment. ps. what does the tv show and parking space have to do with the way you dress? focus on the issues weed out the rest. and??? why would you shout in the house?

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