My mom often feels the need to butt in and meddle in our relatives, friends and sometimes even strangers' affairs. It's everything from pointing out that her niece paid too much for food, or overhearing the couple in line behind her talking about food and her feeling the need to offer up recipes or tips on cooking the foods that she overheard, to trying to set up my friend with her coworkers' son.
The truth is that I believe it's coming from a deep desire to help people, to direct them to something better--but sometimes it's just so annoying and irritating when we're together and she just yearns to meddle in someone's business. I tell her to mind her own business, but my mom just wants to help every single person--whether they want her help or not.
Given my mom's history (included below), I partially understand her need to overcompensate in extending her love and care, as she may not had that herself growing up, but my question is how do I help my mom understand that she needs to mind her own business? Nobody likes someone who butts in and points out their mistakes, or even just butts in. It hurts me seeing other people resent my mom for not minding her own business when her efforts in reaching out that actually end up back-firing.
[For my mom's brief history: she's in her late 50's, the 3rd child in order of 4 children (although the 1st child died at 19, so most of her life she was the middle child of 3 children). My grandfather died when she was 15, and my grandma was rather cold and not motherly in raising her kids. My mom's marriage was never happy--my parents divorced after 8 years of unhappy marriage. My father was an alcoholic who abused my mom. My mom dated briefly, but not for at least the past 10 years. My grandmother passed away last year, and my mom lives alone with her pets.]
Thanks so much in advance for your help and insight.
