ElleJ
43 answers
23 thumbs up

To get what you've never had, you have to do things you've never done.

Met my bf when life was good...

I met my bf almost 5 years ago when my life was together. I was 25 (he was 40), I had just lost weight, my job was terrific and I was finally over my ex-fiance. He and I met and quickly fell in love. Well, today I am 29 (will be 30 in 6 months) and the proposal I thought was coming never came. He says that he is only hesitant due to his finances. Currently, my life feels as if it has fallen apart-or never was to begin with. I was in the mtg industry (my company shut their doors), I am not as skinny as I was when he and I met and due to the mtg industry collapsing, I can't find a job. I am CLINICALLY depressed and needy these days and my bf doesn't come home as much anymore. I am not sure that after losing everything, I can deal with losing him too. What     DO     I     Do? I am not as confident as I used to be and I am scared. Also, how do I find a therapist? I don't want to go on anti-depressants.


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lovedoctor71
133 answers
198 thumbs up

Love knows no bounds.

I am sorry to hear that things are not good right now in your life. If you can give me more information, like where you currently reside (city and state) and your preference for a therapist (male, female or no preference), I'd be happy to help you find a therapist in the area.

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brosen
1062 answers
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My dear ElleJ, my heart goes out to you and I hope my advice will help you get back into the swing. It seems to you that in this one period of your life you have been beset by so many problems coming at you at the same time and you do no know where to turn. It would be impossible for you alone to take them all on and make them disappear. But unfortunately that is not the way things go in life. You will have to deal with each one at a time. I suggest you first deal with your clinical depression that was triggered by everything you mentioned. Being depressed will not help you win your bf back nor will it help get you a job. Go see a psychiatrist (ask your physician for a recommendation) who can prescribe the medications to get you out of it. Treatment by medication could take up to three to four months. If your bf is patient and loving he will then be attracted to you as before. Today he finds you not the same person he always knew and loved. You will be more presentable in job interviews that will enable you to get a decent job to match your qualifications.  I wish you the strength to see this plan of action through to the end for a brighterfuture.
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