I met my bf almost 5 years ago when my life was together. I was 25 (he was 40), I had just lost weight, my job was terrific and I was finally over my ex-fiance. He and I met and quickly fell in love. Well, today I am 29 (will be 30 in 6 months) and the proposal I thought was coming never came. He says that he is only hesitant due to his finances. Currently, my life feels as if it has fallen apart-or never was to begin with. I was in the mtg industry (my company shut their doors), I am not as skinny as I was when he and I met and due to the mtg industry collapsing, I can't find a job. I am CLINICALLY depressed and needy these days and my bf doesn't come home as much anymore. I am not sure that after losing everything, I can deal with losing him too. What DO I Do? I am not as confident as I used to be and I am scared. Also, how do I find a therapist? I don't want to go on anti-depressants.