Life is all about making choices and those that work for some don't work for others. Since we've just about beaten this one to death, and I've gone way farther in discussing my love life than I had intended, I'm almost finished but I feel I need to respond to a few things in jk's last post;
jk, thanks for sharing what is unfortunately an unhappy memory and the pain that goes with it. I'm sorry that what should have been an exciting and erotic experience with someone you had real feelings for turned out badly. I've also been in a 3some with very different results, but I was older and I recognized there were three important considerations to make this happen successfully; first, the 3 individuals involved were comfortable in their relationship with each other and there was a clear understanding of what would happen (chorography on a different level if you will); second, there was a romantic setting so time and place added to the mood and third, two men understood that they could cross the finish line before the lady left the starting gate, so things were done to ensure the lady was well into the backstretch before the really serious activities occured. The idea was for us to all arrive at the finish line together (more or less). We were successful in making this an enjoyable experience with we defined as three peiople.
If those things were not done, I can easily understand how any woman could feel unsatisfied and demeaned, and shame on those two guys for not making you feel thrilled, fulfilled, excited and special as you had imagined you would when you agreed to participate. Unless physically or emotionally injured, a woman is like a stradivivarius, capable of the most beautiful music imaginable, but it's up to the guy (or guys in this case) to ensure that happens, and if he doesn't he's just another Jack Benny. One thing I don't understand is "technical gymnastics". I'm a basic positions kind of guy and anything that makes a woman uncomfortable is something I can't imagine.
You've described your current relationship beautifully and I would use those same words to describe my marriage. As for our fantasy life, we both enjoy the use of toys, videos, costumes and etc., they are easily available to us, so we use them to enhance our sex life. The use of these maritial aids, or Gale's relationship with Pat, does not diminish our feelings for each other, it's kind of like the dessert after the dessert.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. We can all agree on one thing, that we live in a great country where we are free to make these choices, and discuss our feelings about them in a public format.
