My question covers my whole relationship.. I cant stand my husband most of the time. I've only been married for about 13 months, a little over a year. I've been with him for over two years. But our marriage is falling apart. things have been bad for a while now and I don't know what to do. I read all these marriage articles and nothings helping at all. I just really don't know what to do. and I'm losing faith and heart. I'm really upset that we're falling apart. i feel SO unhappy almost all the time and its gotten to where I'm not even attracted to him anymore. last time i wanted to be intimate with him it didn't happen for whatever reason he gave and ever since then its just gotten worse and i don't even want to now. its gotten so bad i don't even really want to be around him that much and i really dont like it when he kisses me or tries to hug me. i guess its because I've been feeling so angry, or maybe even resentful, all the time lately. there are so many unresolved issues between us because, well i may be a little immature (I'm only 21) but he is seriously immature, we cant just have a conversation about our issues because it always turns into something ugly everytime. and just this weekend while we were hanging out with friends, he called me a (stupid) bitch at least 3 or 4 times right in front of them. and at some point there was this ridiculous argument, about a game of pool we were playing, i tried to end it by telling him to chill it didn't matter, he wouldn't shut up about it. then my best friend, who was only trying to defuse the situation, said for everyone to just calm down and drop it and he shouted at her and told her to shut up. i don't know what to do. i don't want to have gone through a marriage in 1 year at only 21. but i also don't wanna be stuck in something I'm so unhappy in and waste years of my life and youth in this depressed state I've been in for however long its been, especially if nothings going to be solved and it's going to end eventually anyway. he makes comments about divorce when we argue but i know it'd break me, and him too, if we divorced but my God i don't know what to do! I'm out of ideas and losing hope. can you please offer me some kind of advice or encouragement. thank you.
I'm really just a kid, but I saw your story and the last thing I think you would want to do is waste tie.
If it's hopeless, finish it and go forward. If there's a chance, put your best efforts in your marriage.
Love is the battery of life....
Hi,A very sad story.... only 21 and just over 1 year of poor marriage.... you sure deserve more. I read your notes twice, very carefully, and I believe you (both) need an urgent marriage counseling. You won't be able to solve it by yourself. I believe that the key word and the main reason to that serious problem (and to your relations) is "Immature". Sex and intimacy are very often a reflection of the realtions..... It's very not surprising that you react the way you do when your relations reached that low level. Your only hope is marriage counseling, it it doesn't work than better consider a divorce (painfull as it be). Best regards,
My daughter divorced after just six months and her relationship was less abusive then yours. Two options: if you have hope give counseling a try. A good therapist may help. But if you have already decided and are hanging on because it is hard or you are afraid of what other people will think - Just Do It. It will be fairer to both of you. Splitting up at this point doesn't mean either of you are bad people, but if you continue so unhappy and disconnected you will end up creating or experiencing much more hurt.
Whatever you decide - good luck.
Counseling will work ONLY when you BOTH want to save your marriage; if that is not the case you should seriously consider divorce. You are both young and no children yet to complicate. We all make mistakes but if corrected in time the damage and hurt will be minimal. Don't consider it as a failure since you did your best.
Got an answer for RMCC? Would you like to comment on the posted answers, or vote for the one which you think is the best?
Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).
Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:
Other people asked questions on various topics, and are still waiting for answer. Would be great if you can take a sec and answer them
