Marriage Counseling and divorce

Counseling is a good idea from day one IMHO.Sometimes things couples don't say to each other will come out in a session with a therapist.I think it's healthy for a relationship to speak with unbiased professional on a regular basis.

Divorce is an option when a couple has no fight left in them.If you go down,but you go down swingin' divorce is still sad,but it's the absolute best thing for everyone.

Sometimes it's good to see a counselor just to make sure a couple sees eye to eye and learns to communicate.A counselor can offer helpful ways to work out problems BEFORE you have them and basicly teach you talk to each other and avoid conflict.Everyone get's stressed out and it never hurt anyone to talk to a professional and get help working through this stress.Maybe if my husband and I had seen a counselor,she could've helped him with his sex addiction BEFORE he cheated.By the time we went it was too late.

I think that as soon as one partner feels the need for help both partners should go.

Divorce should be a last resort, once you've tried everything else unsuccessfully...

Some of the clear signs I had that I needed to get a divorce were that I was terrified of my spouse, dreaded his coming home, would seriously pray that he never come home again every time he left, I had no respect for him (and knew it could never be restored), I knew that living with him was harming my children and I would look at him and tell myself that I would rather die young than have to grow old with him...

Even with all that, I stuck it out for another few years to see if there was any way to work things out. There wasn't and I have been much happier since the divorce.

Rachel

I agree with Rachel. You should not stay with someone who is abusive to you or your children nor should you be stuck with someone who will not work with you to have a fulfilling marriage. That being said, I think it is far too easy to get a divorce, which is why you see all of these people that have been married 3 or 4 times or more. However, if you are asking about counseling, I would say that you all need it and if she will not go with you, please go yourself. He or she can help you sort through your obvious confusion as I sense that you would constantly look back and question your decision. For me, bottom line is that if both are truly working to make their marriage better, then do not divorce. Only you can decide whether you can be the one who keeps it together and rarely or never feel that you are part of a married couple. Once you can sort that part out, you will know which way to go. Take care and Good luck.