When you "ask a woman out on a date", you're basically saying "Hi, I'm interested in you in a romantic way, and I'd like to buy you some food so you'll think of me as a wonderful provider, and then maybe we can go out on some more dates that I'll pay for and then get into a relationship... if I'm lucky and you'll accept me".
Duh.
Instead of asking a woman out to lunch, tell her "Hey, I'm going to get a cup of tea. Come along and entertain me. And I don't mean with that usual boring stuff that you talk about."
It sounds to me like you're probably LEANING into women and putting STRANGE EMOTIONAL PRESSURE on them in a very subtle way when you're "asking them out".
Stop that!
Lean back, and use what you're learning here from me.