Loveless relationship

If it's just a matter of not saying the words but he shows you in every other way I think you have to decide if not hearing it is a deal-breaker for you, or if you can live with him the way he is.

But if he won't say it, doesn't show it and negatively compares you with his ex, why are you even bothering to ask?

Get out now, before you waste another six years.

You deserve to be loved with abandon.  You should be drenched in love every day.  Why would you want to be constantly compared to another woman?  There is someone out there that will think you are the greatest gift he has ever received.  Leave, and find that man.  Do it for yourself.

id pretty much call this relationship doomed if your guy says he cant love you the way he loved his ex  that means to me he doesnt think this relationship is going to last forever

Some times men don't think how much it hurts you to not say the words I love you. Have you talked to him? Some times you love so deaply it is hard to let any one else in. However after all this time if he has not made an effort to say the words, has he showed you his affection? He might still be so deeply hurt he is afraid to say he loves you for the reasons he only knows, rejection would be one. Do you tell him you love him? Is this a real relationship? Or is it just companionship? I think you need to take the bull by the horns and ask him what he expects from you, you are not his ex and can never replace her but you and him can build a relationship if you fell  secure in this. If not as stated in other answers move on. It will be hard but you will find someone else that will love you unconditionaly.

It's a hard question. His attitude implies, to me, that he still holds a hope to get his ex back. This is a situation I know well. I have an ex I loved deeply and still love. The difference is, I've moved past it, we're friends, and if I met someone else I loved, which is something I sincerely hope to do, I would never withhold one bit of love for that new person simply because I love my ex. She's with someone who good to her and she's happy with and I'm happy for her. And I'm sure she would be happy for me if I found someone new.

Sometimes we hold on so tightly to the pain of the past that it becomes almost our identity, defines who we are. And we're afraid to let go and move on because we're frightened we'll lose ourselves. I suffered from this for a long time, believe me. The problem is, really, if we love someone from the past, someone we've lost, we don't allow ourselves the room to love ourselves, because since that person left us, we're not worth loving, and only their return can make us lovable again. And when we can't love ourselves, and see ourselves as worthy of love, we aren't capable of loving anyone else. And so we get stuck, we can't move forward, we can't move back, we can't move at all. We just become frozen. It becomes obsession rather than love. Which isn't healthy for anybody.

The problem with you staying with this guy is that his obsession devalues your worth and self love as well. Love is too precious and too hard to find to wait for this guy to realize whats right in front of his face if he isn't willing to change and resolve these issues. He deserves a chaqnce, but you deserve better.

Six and a half years would be way too long for me to be in a relationship such as the one you've described.  Something is very wrong if he tells you this sort of thing.  Have more respect for yourself and do not ever go into another relationship that is this shallow.

if u r compaired to his ex.. dat means he still loves ha.. so i sugggest u mus get over it n if possible advice him t get back t his ex... after al u would lk t see him happy..

My question is, if his Ex was so wonderful, why did he divorce her?  Has she remarried and moved on? Then apparently, she's not feeling the same way about him and the chance of them reconciling are remote. So what is he hanging onto old feelings for?  Sure, we have have that "one love" who seems to stand out; like your first serious boyfriend/girlfriend in high school; or the first guy you slept with; etc. But we don't spend our lives thinking about it and fantacising that everything would be wonderful if we were back together!  Everyone changes. Everyone moves on.  He sounds emotionally immature and I am just sorry you wasted 6 years with this guy, whose ex wife apparently stopped loving and divorced.   Maybe she saw him for what he was; and now it's time for you to do the same.  If he doesn't love you, what is he doing there? Does he just like your cooking, having someone to wash his clothes and keep the house clean, and a convenient "bed partner" so he doesn't have to pay for all those things????  Think about it.  Maybe he just sees you as a "convenience" to make his life easier.  Tell him you want an explanation of where your relationship is going; what it means to him to have you in his life, and WHY he cannot love you?  If he cannot answer these questions to your satisfaction, kick him to the curb and be happy being alone!  It's not a bad thing at all. I have been single for over 34 years, and my most content and peaceful times were when I did not have a boyfriend or "live-in" love.  No one complaining about this and that. No one picking a fight because they had a bad day at work. No one to call you "fat ass", and no one to worry about when they are out drinking "with the boys" and playing poker, and come home at 1AM knee-walking drunk.  Peace and quiet is a good thing!  Don't be afraid to be alone.  I LOVE IT, and remember, YOU ARE ALL YOU NEED to be happy!  You don't need someone else to make you happy; because happiness comes from within.  Make a list of all the good things in this relationship; then make a list beside it of all the negative things about him & the relationship.  Then make a good decision and get on with your life and be happy!