I've been with my man for 5 years and I can count on one hand the time we've made love. I am confused and very disallusioned about the relationship. What can I do to get him involved in making love more frequently?
Love is the battery of life....
Hi,No, please no..... The easiest solution is to run away.... it is not necessarily the right or the smartest one. From the header I learn that you love him.... I believe that in all other aspects he is OK..... the only major problem you have is no / low sex. I agree with you. Sex is very important, and you (both) should enjoy it. Sex bonds between partners and is a good indication to their relations. Yes, no (low) sex is a problem but it can and should be solved. First step is to find out what are the reasons to it then find the right answers. If you can't find the reasons by yourself better consult a sexologist. Here are some questions to guid you towards the answer (no offence please, I am trying to help):1. How old is he ? 2. Is he healthy ?3. Is he, generally, in good mood ?.4. Does he love you ?5. Do you love him ?6. How are your relations ?7. Could he have someone else ?8. Does he work too hard ?9. Is he a warm person ? 10. Does he face a major problem ? (something that really bothers him).11. What are his reactions when you try to be intimate ? 12. Did you ever try to change the setting (e.g: love vacation ?)13. When you did have sex, how was it ? Did he "function" well ?14. Is he attracted 2U ? RU attracted to him ? Somewhere in between you'll probably find the answer. Best regards,
You should really talk to him. Find out what his reasons are for waiting. Could he be motivated by religious reasons or want to wait until marriage? Still, the fact that you can count the number of times that you have made love on one hand in five years is crazy. You need to discuss it with him and if this issue is not resolved then you should move on. You deserve to be with someone who loves you enough to want to be with you both physically and emotionally. Everyone deserves to be desired and to feel the passion that should go hand-in-hand with love. Good luck.
Hi,
Thank you for your response, but I don't think that that is necessarily true, Oron. (I do however agree with your first response) One of my best friends is religious but she and her boyfriend chose to have sexual relations before getting engaged to make sure they were physically compatible. After all, as Then they decided to stop and wait until they were married.we see on this website, many relationships based on an emotional connection get torn apart for physical reasons. Every one has their own interpretations of what it is to be religious and you have to respect that. I look forward to hearing more from Disappointed45.
There is probably very little you can do to get him to be considerably more sexually active. He appears to have a very low sex drive compared to you, as evidenced by the few times the two of you have had sex in five long years. Differing sex frequency needs are often a cause of great dissatisfaction over the long term. Couples who have intercourse less than 10 times a year are said to be in a sexless relationship, which can be extremely frustrating and a cause of much resentment for the partner with the higher sex drive.
Sexual compatibility is a crucial part of a relationship for many people. He has had plenty of time to demonstrate his sexuality to you. It seems incompatible. As it is unlikely that either of you would be happy to change to the other's sex frequency, and that this is causing disillusionment for you, it would also appear prudent to evaluate whether the relationship is worth continuing.
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I think your problem is a little worst then getting him involved. There seems like you are in an unhealthy relationship. Lovers make love and a lot of love especially in the beginning . I find it difficult to understand how you managed like this for 5 years. Communication is very important here, you need to ask him what he is feeling if he just hasn't have the drive there are lots of medicine out there to help solve this problem. He might be under sort of a stress . Tell him how much you love him and what you want from him. If he won't be willing to treat it then there is something that might be a bit serious then this.
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