What you are doing sounds to me like a 'learned behavior'. I say this because my Mother was that way, while I know she loved us and my Dad and would have been lost without us, she was very critical, hurtful at times, and never real affectionate with any of us.
I've noticed as adult now myself that I sometimes act like she did, especially toward the people I love. And I have to stop and realize where that's coming from!
Were you emotionally abused or neglected by one or both of your parents, or someone you were close to while you were growing up? Was there anyone with the personality trait you are having trouble with now? As children we are like little 'sponges', absorbing information and forming charactoristics almost on an unconscience level, by simply watching and listening to the people around us.
It's just something you might need to consider if you really want to change yourself, it helps to realize the root of the problem, before you 'adopt' it as your own. *Then maybe you can cut it off at the pass, before you really do think you need a psycologist.* I know it's hard to change, but we can!