Long Distance Relationships and Complicated situations...

Alright, so I'm off to college and my boyfriend (poor thing) is left in the dust back in germany.  He will only be a Junior in high school. Now, I ask this question and I hope you all can respect it despite the fact that I'm only 18 and he's only 17.  I need to know some other people's perspectives on long distance relationships.  We have been dating for nearly 7 months now and I love him so much.  Now, you must understand that I have dated many guys for about 3 months and I just would get bored with them.  Some of those guys I had fairly good feelings for but I just couldn't see myself with them so I broke it off.  Here I am... about to go off to college and I'm TOTALLY in love with my boyfriend (Daniel).

Unfortunately, he and I are both incredibly compelled by logic.  We both know that, statistically speaking, long distance relationships have a fairly high level of failure.  So, we had several suggestions for each other.  We eventually decided to break up BUT just this past weekend we decided we just couldn't go through with it.  This just means too much to us.  Of course, we DID plan to remain best friends (we pinky swore) and that is totally possible, but it's not what we REALLY wanted.

So, we decided to stay together but in an open relationship.  He felt that a polyamorous relationship would allow me the freedom he feels I need (but honestly I don't... I have no intention of dating anyone else --and ironically, neither does he--) but it would also allow us to stay together.  His whole deal was that he didn't want anything bad to happen to us and he didn't want me to feel bogged down.  Funny though... I think it'll end up being totally monoamorous after all. XD

At any rate... Do you think it will work? (if you want I can go into detail about how amazing the past 7 months have been lol)


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5218 thumbs up

Live simply, love generously and  care deeply.

 

Long distance relationships are not good for everybody.  The couple should really love each other to decide they will be totally honest and not get involved with anyone else.   Both must be emotionally mature and have patience. They should be honest with each other.  Open relationships are not going to help to make your relationship successful.  If that's the way you both feel, then I think you are just wasting your time with each other.


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"A Happy Home is but an Earlier Heaven"

~John Bowring

So much depends on the personality types involved and the depth & strength of the relationship. Everyone is different. Some people are the clingy-type (like me) who like to spend a lot of time with their special somebody and some people are the loner-type who need a lot of space. A long-distance relationship has very little chance of survival when it involves a clingy-type personality and even less chance if both people are clingy.

Making a relationship work from a distance requires much trust and commitment! I think that the idea of having an open relationship will leave a lot of room for growth, change and especially opportunity. Open relationships are a non-commital approach that requires no trust or expectations and I hate to say it but the likelyhood of success is probably slim to none.


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