Lied for 7 years

Greetings Dreamer21:  You already know falsehood is wrong, so I commend you on your willingness to rectify the lie between yourself and your boyfriend.  I wonder if you might have a tendency to bend the truth beyond this?  I ask you this question based on your login name of "Dreamer" and the story I've just read?

I personally believe your boyfriend will have greater respect for you if you share the truth with him.  I doubt he will be upset, however, if he is upset by it, after he's had time to calm down and think it through, his respect will win over any feeling of resentment.

I think it may be a good idea to seek some professional counseling.  Perhaps there is more to this than just going along with what others thought at the time.  Perhaps it is more of an attention need as you'd stated?

Whatever the outcome, the best of luck I send your way.  I do admire you for telling your boyfriend the truth, and I think he will respect you all the more for it.

Arrivederci - TWM

seek professional therapy!! Get some peace from this. Forgive yourself!

Great news sweetie:  Your reply has made my day, thank you.  I respect what you are doing and everything will work out just fine for you!

Proud of you!

Arrivederci and be well - TWM

Hello, I am sorry to hear about your passed but the passed has went to the furture.YOU can't keep on living your life in the passed as you are.If you want help and understanding you have to come clean with your boyfriend and your self.For get about how others will take the news.Do the right thing for yourself.I don't really understand why you thought you had to lie about this issue.YOU already had a hard life and by saying that you was raped this can and have made your life even harder.If your boyfriend is as sweet and caring as you say he is then there is nothing you shouldn't be able to tell him.YOU wouldn't want him to have rape someone and hold this information from you.So don't hold this deep lie from him.I think you should tell him over dinner why you lied and tell him that you have already had a hard life and you just want some understanding.Well i hope you can face the man that seems so sweet with the biggest lie that he may have heard from any of his passed ladys.Well good luck.

You are already doing the best for yourself by seeing a therapist. Listen carefully to this professional, and respond accordingly about the lies told to your boyfriend. In my own personal opinion, you seem like a person that is looking to do the right thing for your boyfriend and for you. Understand, you appear to have hit bottom, so now move forward. The past is the past, you can't change that. But, now you can make yourself a better person. We've all messed up at one time or another, so don't dwell on the past. Negatives and regrets can stay with you forever...if you let it. Move forward and be the person you want to be, with your boyfriend and all other good things that await you. You MUST believe that you're a good person...then you will be...and then life will be good to you. Don't dwell on the past! Make each day in your life beautiful...and it will be! 

Hi everybody,

I forgot my passwords... so i made a new account name. I think im getting senil or something, keep forgetting erverything.

Thank you so much for your responses. It really makes me feel good. I do need to let this go. But i find it hard to do. Also my boyfriend is not here right now, i have to wait till he comes back. This will be in the end of August. So you can understand that my feeling are a bit how do you say that...like a scale..
Sometimes i feel good, and the other times i feel bad, very bad for what ive done.. And not knowing how my boyfriend will react.

Well only time will tell.. for now i keep on reading your posts... it really makes me feel good

Thank you!!

Hi everybody,

Well monday 14th of september i told my boyfriend the truth. I was very nervous..i asked him if we could drive a little in my city, then i said could we  please stop. We sat on a bench and then.. i could not hold the tears anymore. I cried and cried.. he came towards me but i said.. no.. I have to tell you something.. I told him that i had done something really bad, and that i was very sick in that time period. He was looking at me strangly, then i told him my sessions at my therapist.. and then..i just said it... i told him i lied to him.

His eyes.. his eyes.. looked at me shocked..he was silent... then he walked away.. it thought o no he is going to leave me. But he got a pack of cigarettes and started smoking.

He didn't yell.. he just was shocked. He told me that he always kept my feelings in mind when we do stuff etc. He asked me why i told him this.. and why i was thinking this would give me attention for all the right reasons?  Then after quite some while he siad: I'm glad it never happend to you, and i think you are brave for telling me... BUt i do not approve what you have done... i will forgive you but..it will take a while to forget it.

Now..a few days later.. our relations is ok.. we are not fighting..we laugh...but for some weird reason..i still feel sad.
I don't want to feel this way, but i do. I thought by telling him the truth...everything would feel better..and sometimes i feel great, but other days i don't feel great at all....

What should i do?