Hello,  It's funny because I actually feel your struggle.  I too have gone through the same situtation and I must say, it's not a fun place to be in.  I do agree with many of the respondents.  Usually our marriages are lacking something that we find ourselves going astray.  However, in all fairness to what's left of our marriages.  We have to make hard but wise decisions before complicating matters even further.  You need to talk to your spouse.  If you're worried about the unknown becoming known, then your marriage still must have enough love in it to be able to still talk to your husband.  Be honest and tell him the truth.  Trust me, going on the way you two are is just a disaster waiting to happen...You and your new found love will be much better off going to your spouses "before" the revelation of your secret and having a heart to heart about where you feel your marriages are lacking.  Seek counseling and if at the end you're still feeling a certain loss in your marriages...take the next step then.  You owe it to your spouses and your marriages to at least try being open first (especially since you two still think highly of your marriages - enough to not want to end them).  Good luck!