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kat

How to deal with a family member who keeps ...

how to deal with a family member who keeps bringing up the past?I  have  a sister who wants nothing to do with me but recently my kids came for a visit and she told them of my past which i didnt want my kids to know it happened 30 something years ago and she will not stop I told her how I feel it doesnt matter.She calls me the worst sister and that I'm dead to her,then she drug my daughter in law into the mess and my sister said to her(my daughter in law) I call her a unfit mom which isnt true how do difuse this? and repair my realationship with my sons and daughter in law???


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Doug
422 answers
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Hi! kat

To answer your question about your sister who has no sisterly love Perhaps if I told you about my sister it would be of help to you She showed up out of the blue at the very moment that I was getting married,and she made such a stink about my getting married to my wife. She sure did turn lots of heads,and I could see in the guests eyes. What are you going to do about her?  I took her aside and told her that Mary was to be my wife, So Please shut up and let me live my own life, and that if she couldn't do that, I would Throw her out if she continued to mess up the wedding. She left. And that was 53,years ago. Never saw hide or hair of her after that. Yes you can live very well without her in your life, As you can Plainlly see that she's cure not a blessing in your life.  As for your past, all That I got to say is, "Thank God that he doesn't keep score or heaven will be empty". You need to keep on loving her, But that doesn't mean that she has the right to mess up your life or your family. Do like I did. Tell her to get lost. You don't need her in your life.  But do leave the door open as sometimes things change between our ears.
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JayR
2408 answers
2066 thumbs up

Riding on The City of New Orleans

Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.

Kat-

Slow down and try to organize things for us.

  1. What was this event? No need for excruciating detail.
  2. What is the cause of your sister's antipathy towards you?
  3. Was your sister involved in this event?
  4. What are the reasons that your children have taken a stance against you?

Other than trying to have a discussion with the parties involved, you will not get much that is very helpful until we have more data with which to help you.

JayR

 
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my kids brought my grandson over to my sisters to  show off their new baby and my sister always hated me but she told lies to my kids that werent even true about me and told my daughter in law that i said she was a unfit mother which wasnt true.the fighting between my sister and me has been going on for years.i made a comment to my kids that my niece who was over there has hep C and very contagoius and to be very careful with the newborn baby.well my sister took this as "dont go over there"and proceded  to tell  my kids about something that happend 30 something years ago  in my past its none of my kids or her business to disclose this ...my sister is always in other ppls business but her own.now my kids wont talk to me cause my sister fed them so many lies and she denies it she said she didnt brainwash my kids or daughter in law.
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JayR
2408 answers
2066 thumbs up

Riding on The City of New Orleans

Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.

Kat-

I still do not see a lot of information in your reply. I will sign off. Maybe someone else will have some suggestions.

Here is a parting thought. Hepatitis C is usually spread thru the blood, altho it can be contracted sexually. Hugging a person with hepatits C puts you at no more risk that hugging a person with AIDS. You are not going to catch either one. And you will make whoever you hug that has it fwill eel more accepted and loved.

JayR
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Scarlett
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The past is the past. We are to live for each day anew. What is the problem with your sister, your family period? God forgives us all. No one is to judge another person. He forgave the adulterous women and told her to sin no more. I'm sure your other family members have things in their past they don't want told. You should hold your head high. The others need to learn they are to form their own way of thinking and not listen to others. Everyone should sweep around their own front doors before they sweep around others. Keep a smile on your face and be thankful for each day.
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