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Iraqie divorce

I'm currently deployed in Iraq. My wife decided it was best for her to relocate to other state so she could find a job. She knew her way around better when she arrived in the state which is the state where she was born. She only worked three months at the job.

Everytime we talk on the phone we agrue because she hasn't made an attempt to find a job she hasn,t send a brithday card she says i bring her down because i talk very blunt to her the reason i do this because i ,m in a stress full place with no love and no support i,m wrong for feeling this way i don,t really want to build a marrige on this kind of foundation i'm i wrong


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92 thumbs up

We're not retreating... we're advancing in another direction.

-General Douglas MacArthur 

I wish that being in Iraq (where I'm sure you're in a really difficult situation to begin with) that you have to deal with these problems at home too.  I think that maybe you should write her a letter from your heart.  Tell her that you wish you were there to be there for her, and that you know the situation you both find yourselves in isn't ideal.  Tell her that you are having a hard time, and that you don't mean to bring her down... that you wish you had her love there, that you had your life back.  Make her feel wanted, and let her know that you need her.  I think that maybe from speaking to her like this, she will be able to be there for you more, and that you might know what she needs better.  Talking about divorce from Iraq is not the way, I believe.  It sounds like you can work it out...that you both just need to show (even know it's difficult from so far away) one another how much you love each other.  Good luck, in Iraq and with your wife.  Thank you for fighting for our country.


Posted 9 months ago ( permalink )
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60 thumbs up

Errr, please tell me that you do not make a laundry list of things she does wrong to tell her about when you finally get the chance to talk to her. It sounds as though you are lonely and too stressed but I can tell you that taking it out on her is not going to make her more loving to you, it will make her avoid talking to you. And I have to tell you that you are sounding just a little "one way". Do you think she is feeling no stress with her husband in harm's way? Do you know why she lost the job? did she move back home to have some support from family and friends? do you all need the money so that a job is imperative? maybe you could suggest it as a way to help the time pass until you get home...she may be more open to that than to being griped at when she was probably waiting for your call and then waiting to hear that you missed her and loved her. start telling her how much you love her in every way you can think of and add how much you miss her and really need to have the contact in the way of letters or some other thing that will let you know that she thinks of you. being a military wife is hard. you are to consumed with what you are doing there to remember that right now but you could find strength in caring for each other. if you are wondering, I was a Marine wife for 18 years and know what I am talking about here. you may have to start the good feelings since she is probably afraid to talk to you since each time is filled with the things she did wrong.  Let us know how you are doing. take care and God Bless.


Posted 3 months ago ( permalink )
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Dear Divorce in Iraq,

Use the things in place to help both of you with this. Talk to the chaplin, they really do know what they are doing. You are afraid of what is going on at home. You trust your wife but you cannot help feeling the way that you do as many relationships that are not as strong as yours don't make it. Send her letters that remind her of the way it used to be when you two where together. Work on team and spirit building. That can help you to come home to a happy family. Thankyou for your service and I give both of you my best. She has a hard road to take here. Just remember that. And be easy on her. She is worth it.

God bless you and keep you safe

Belfair Mary


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