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peligroso
Get an 'ife', you've already got the 'L'.

Insecurity issues, self esteem? Need advice

Hi,

alright, my girlfriend is a reaaally beautiful girl, and sometimes (we've been together 6 months now) I feel she deserves something else. I really love her, and I know she loves me too. We have a really wonderful relationship, I mean really, but even so, I feel I'm too little for her.

Recently I had this problem with my job. I know I'm good at it, but I kept thinking I was gonna get fired. It never actually happened, and the people at work started noticing my fear, so they even started to tease me with jokes about it... everyone knew there wasn't reason to kick me out, but I really did believe they wanted me out.

I happen to study at night too, and it's starting to happen again with that. Now I feel good at work, and in University isn't that serious yet, but what worries me most, is losing my girlfriend.

I've been able until now not to bother her with questions like "do you really love me?" or "do you really like me?" which I know can begin to affect and I don't want her to start thinking I'm pathetic (cause that's how I feel right now).

Question is: I really think I have some kind of problem not with my girlfriend, nor with my job or university, but with me... what do you think it is, and what advice would you give me before I ruin my relationship or anything else? I'm not the same cool guy I used to be with her. It's becoming harder to keep hidden this from her.

Thanks!


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Smokey Snotsbear

I know it's easier said than done, but try to change your thoughts in a more positive position. If you start thinking negative..think to yourself "stop" and try to think of a positive spin on it.
Posted 2009-07-19T20:54:20Z
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Rated #5 out of 6
 
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Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.


You should talk about this with your girlfriend Maybe don't come right out and say, "I'm afraid of losing you," but tell her the other things. Just in case she has noticed that you are acting differently. Explain how stressed you are about work and school, but how deeply you love and appreciate her. Let her know you are still you; just under more stress.... Together you can overcome anything. The key is talking is out. 
As far as your own insecurities, there is no immediate or miracle cure. What you need to do is take some time to make plans and set goals. The reality is that jobs are scarce right now and losing them is easy. Make sure you are always on task and doing what is required of you at work. We all get discouraged and unsure of ourselves at times, and going and going nonstop can easily cause us, to slow down and burn out so, as I have mentioned, take some time for yourself (and your girlfriend) and try to relax and think things through. 

Posted 2009-07-19T21:05:06Z
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2 helpful answers

Isn't it funny how the people who teach you the most in life are the people you forget....

Everybody has some sort of insecurity in themselves no matter how confident they might appear on the outside. It's how we overcome and deal with the insecurities that make us who we are. You seem to me to have noticed what you lack in self esteem about, and this means your already half-way on the road to recovery.

You think that your girlfriend deserves better than you but why don't you think about who she is with now? She is with you, and it sounds like she is happy about it, which means that she does deserve you purely because of the fact that there is no one better than you to her. The fact that you are worrying so much about whether you're good enough for her or not just bluntly proves that you are, because it shows that you care a lot more about your relationship than the majority of guys do about theirs and that you quite obviously love her and will do anything to make her happy.

There is an easy answer to your insecurity and self-esteem issues...everytime you feel like this again just think that your girlfriend has put her love, respect and trust in you, and she's done that for a reason. Why be insecure when you hold one of the strongest relationships possible, many people would give anything to be in such a strong and respectful relationship as you.

You have nothing to be insecure about....you have everything to be the most confident person around! You are a better person than many people out there, and even though you may feel as though your girlfriend deserves better, the liklihood is that if she was with anyone else she wouldn't feel half as happy as she does being with you. Try to stop thinking about what you can't offer, (not just for your girlfriend but for everything in your life) because no one can offer everything and no body is perfect. Start thinking about what you can offer, you have a life like you do for a reason - a woman who loves you and a job where you are trusted - enjoy it!
Posted 2009-07-22T16:09:45Z
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Rated #2 out of 6
 
7 answers
1 helpful answer

Hi here's some info that has really helped me, I think you will enjoy it.... http://sites.google.com/site/clickfrenzy/
Posted 2009-08-03T22:16:13Z
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Rated #3 out of 6
 
30 answers
7 helpful answers

You should pen this problem with your girlfriend and talkj it out. If she tells you that she loves you then believe her. Trust and have faith in her. If you think that you are not good enough for her, then why are you asking for help. I mean, don't react that way because you girlfriend didn't told you that you are worthless. View things in a positive way all things around you will also be positive. She said she loves you, then it means that she accepted you for who and what you are. Don't ruin your relationship just because of how you insecurities, change the way you think. Do it one at a time. I know you can do better than this if you only put your heart into changing. Good luck.
Posted 2009-08-04T10:49:31Z
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Rated #4 out of 6
 
1 answer

Don't make somebody your priority if your only there opttion

well lets see negativity is the number one thing your very negative you remind me alot of my mother cause i have to remind her all the time to stay positive if u think positive things will be positive and the same goes towards negativity you have very low self confidence an thats not good at all u need to start beliveing in yourself and others as well just remember this you are a person an no person on this earth is perfect we all make mistakes an somtimes may fail but never give up on anything as long as your trying u will always have something to hold on too.the only perfect person is god!
Posted 2009-08-06T16:13:14Z
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Rated #6 out of 6

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